A Love Letter to Turner Syndrome

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My daughter has Turner syndrome (TS) which is a non-inheritable genetic disorder that affects 1 out of 2000 females. Some of the symptoms include short stature, ear problems, auto-immune disorders, and heart defects. This is what Turner syndrome has meant for our family.


My 6-week-old daughter is lying unconscious on a hospital bed. The single bed dwarfs her while wires and tubes are connected to many parts of her body. Medical equipment lines the wall behind her bed measuring her heart rate, oxygen levels, pulse, urine output and more. Alarms go off constantly while the nurse dedicated to her care turns them off. A large vertical bandage on her chest covers the new incision from her open-heart surgery. Her only piece of clothing is her diaper. Her tiny body is swollen and hard to look at. I am sitting by her bed grief stricken and trying to hold myself together. Family members come to support me, but they are dazed and speechless. I end up consoling them. The hours by her bedside have taken its toll; I am exhausted from worry. Eight days post-surgery, my husband and I are headed home and terrified that she is going to die on us.

Three years later, she is diagnosed with Turner syndrome and we find out her heart issues and her slow growth are related. The TS diagnosis answered the question of why she wasn’t growing but brought up so many more. We begin the journey of 12 plus specialists and endless doctor’s appointments. She begins a daily regimen of growth hormone shots for the next 13 years. Early on, all three kids get a treat during her shot to keep them all involved. She gets used to the shots fairly quickly and by nine years old, she is giving herself the shot.

“Every new diagnosis brought more limitations and stress.”

My daughter seemed to have a new health concern every year from tubes, tonsillectomy, celiac disease, enlarged aorta, Crohn’s disease and more. Because her numerous ear infections could result in hearing loss, she had tubes put in three times over her childhood. She recovered quickly from her tube surgeries as well as her tonsillectomy.

Celiac disease changed the way our entire family ate; it took months to learn what she could and could not eat. The Crohn’s diagnosis brought new symptoms, medications, and doctors.

More Heart Problems

When she was diagnosed with an enlarged aorta at nine years old, we learned she was at risk for an aortic dissection. Not a day went by that my husband and I didn’t worry about her. She was heartbroken when she had to quit gymnastics and after that, we had to monitor her sports participation very closely. Every new diagnosis brought more limitations and stress.

“…none of this stopped our daughter from achieving her dreams.”

Support and Advocacy

Early on, I found the Turner Syndrome Society of the United States (TSSUS), a patient advocacy organization. Between TSSUS and a Yahoo group email (now Facebook Groups), I found support and friends who understood the unique challenges of raising a daughter with TS. I also became an advocate for TS, serving on the Board of Directors of TSSUS.

We took family vacations to the TSSUS’s Annual Education Conference to places like Disney World, Seattle, and North Carolina. They had activities for siblings, sessions for the girls and parents; I hoped it helped normalize TS in our lives.

Turner syndrome, I hate what you took from me: my healthy baby, sense of security, my trust in doctors after the first cardiologist misdiagnosed her and so much more. The endless research and education, doctor’s appointments and constant worry took me away from my husband as well as all three kids.

Turner Syndrome, I hate what you gave to me: constant fear of what was next for my daughter, the daily stress of worrying that she could die of an aortic dissection, anxiety and more. I started taking anti-anxiety medications within a few weeks of her diagnosis and later sleeping pills to still my anxious mind.

Although it was hard on me and my husband, none of this stopped our daughter from achieving her dreams. When she could not do one sport, she switched to another and then to other activities. In high school, she held leadership positions and graduated Summa Cumma Laude which helped her earn academic scholarships for college.


Twenty-one years later, the baby is now a young woman. The scene at the hospital is eerily similar to before, the tubes, the wires, and so much medical equipment. A vertical bandage covers her new open-heart surgery scar. Once they pull out the intubation tube, her scratchy voice asks if I am okay, which makes me cry. I am dazed and speechless. I soon realize she has taken on the role of reassuring and consoling her family. She goes home just four days after her open-heart surgery to prevent an aortic dissection, and her recovery is amazing! She has never let her health problems keep her from achieving her dreams. A year later, she is a senior in college with a wonderful future ahead of her!

TS, I hate that you took away my healthy baby, but I love the amazing young woman my daughter has become, a resilient, smart, beautiful daughter who is not only surviving but thriving.

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Natalie Brobin Bonfig

Written by

Writing about caregiving, parenting, life, loss & grief. Published in The Mighty, Thrive Global and The Light Hustler. www.nataliebrobinbonfig.com

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