“I think you like me” — 14-year-old me

I think it’s really weird that, sometimes, I 100% know that someone “like” likes me, and other times I’m 100% sure they hate me and they don’t hate me, they just regular “like” me.

In middle school, I had a moment when I knew this dude liked me. He always sat in the desk next to me and told me jokes. True love. As per usual, I had zero filter one day, and he was teasing me. So to get him to stop, I said, “I think you like me!” And he sort of shrugged and was like, “Nah!!” He was definitely lying but, whatever; I learned my lesson.

Just kidding! I didn’t. I’m still pretty filter-less. But what’s a gal to do when she receives mixed signals so early in life? I’ve somehow made it out alive.

I think that true chemistry is undeniable. And I think that maybe I just have a problem where, if someone doesn’t immediately obviously love me, I assume I’ve failed and that they hate me.

Either way, I’m in a weird situation right now. Falling for a guy — cue romcom soundtrack — and usually have no filter but don’t want to scare him off and tell him right away. Toeing the line and trying to act normal. Thinking that, at the very least, I won’t just blurt out, “I think you like me!” at him. Maybe I have learned my lesson…

Except, now there’s alcohol. Fucking alcohol. Has to give me all this liquid courage and shit. Hoping to rise #abovetheinfluence (is it mean to use this hashtag inappropriately?) and only talk to him once I’ve like met his family or something…

Except, fuck. I already met his brother on Saturday night. Whatever, life’s tough —

BREAKING NEWS: he just texted me. Flashback to middle school. Except then it was AIM chat. I don’t know about you, but I’m feelin’ 14. Not hating it.