Internet explanations for why women nag offer a variety of reasons for the nagging, all of which sound like a crazy power play and not the desperate measure of someone who would just like you to clean the bathroom. Reasons offered include “to get their way,” “to hurt” and “to seek attention.” The media write hand-wringing lifestyle pieces on how shitty it is that women can’t seem to stop asking men to do things they say they will do after they don’t do them. The women in these pieces contort themselves in every direction trying to get men to do their part around the house, including refraining from asking verbally and writing pretty notes with stickers and doodles so he doesn’t have to hear their voice.
I had a girlfriend at the time (not the same woman who told me I had given her herpes). Now I had to tell her. And I only had the guts to tell her part of the truth. I wasn’t ready to admit that I had cheated on her. I wasn’t ready to let her go. She still accepted me after I told her I was HSV positive. I wanted that crutch. I didn’t want to face the possibility that anyone might not want me because I have herpes, so I latched onto her despite it being unhealthy.
Let’s be honest here, it’s not a mental health problem, it’s a male rage problem. And before you cry, “not all men!”, I’ll point this out — lots of women don’t get what they want in life, like a happy marriage, a fulfilling career, or children. But you don’t see us going on killing sprees. So while it’s not definitely not all men, it’s more than enough men to warrant calling this a frightening trend. The mentally ill also, by the way, tend to hurt themselves instead of hurting others, so let’s please stop insulting them by linking their suffering to the actions of aggressive, entitled men who have never even been diagnosed.