If you love someone that is going through depression…

It’s rough. There’s not a lot of support in how to be a better partner for those who are suffering through depression. And if they are — they are really, incredibly basic. These are things I’ve learned.

  1. It’s probably much, much worse than they actually let on. Reach out when you can and let them know you’re there.
  2. You’d be surprised at how many friends within your network are depressed too. Be a little open and ask how they appreciated it when their friends got them through it.
  3. Encouraging them to seek help is BASIC AF. Anti depressants are known to have major side effects and can put the body through hell before it works. Therapy costs $$$ and it’s still not easy opening up and being vulnerable. Understand that it’s much more complicated than that and work them through the nuances — so don’t push them to get on anti depressants or seek therapy. I know that you’re anxious for them to get help. They know the solution they just have to work up to it when they are ready.
  4. If they mention they are suicidal — DON’T freak out or put them on suicide watch immediately. If your brain was mentally attacking you every second and putting you through inexplicable pain, you’d find ways to get out too. Listen with empathy and give them outlets to talk about this heavy subject.
  5. Read Longread’s essays on depression. Reading how other people deal with it reminds you that you are not alone, and gives you better insight into how each form of depression is its own monster with its own unique tendencies. Reading these essays helped give me enough hope, when your partner/friend/lover might not have any left.

And hopefully this list of support and resources can grow — let me know if you have any other tips.