SA: Sugar Anonymous confessions of a sugar addict.
Do you remember this commercial?
It was so real back then, showing us all how drugs effected your brain. I for one was running around just saying no to drugs. Mean, while I was addicted to one of the most powerful drugs out there. I didn’t know anything about it for just about all of my life! A true life-long junky. Junky you say no, not you Natasha BUT yes I am.
Hello my name is Natasha and I’m addicted to sugar.
Allow me to share with you just a few of the highs and lows of my addiction. I have always loved dessert it was my favorite part of dinner in my house growing up. My mom had what they called back then a sweet tooth, so we always had goodies in the house to eat. We even have a running joke in my family; about going searching for cookies and finding no cookies in the jar when each person was asked they would each claiming to only have had 3 cookies out a family size bag of Chips Ahoy. Oh and Sunday dinners were the best because my mom would pull out her cook books and magazines and make what I thought back then was culinary magic! The list of things that were brought to life in my childhood home read like Bon Appetit Magazine. So in short my addiction came with a big helping of love on the side.
NOW some 30 years later in the thick of my addiction I was not happy with life… yes there were bright points within it but for the most part it’s was a very sad, lonely life. I woke up each morning with a mouth so dry it’s as if I’ve never had water ever! My legs are swollen and I don’t even have ankles anymore. It’s just legs with a small indent then feet. I reach for the bottle of soda on my bedside table and chug the last of the 2-liter bottle. I grit still in my eyes I look over to the clock to check the time but it’s blocked by a candy bar wrapper. I have the thought of when did I eat that but then have the flash backs of the 3am snack of the two candy bars and the half bag of popcorn. I feel like shit; I look like shit. With deep breath I push off all this because I just can’t spend another morning crying in the shower. I get the kids up while I try to find the most expensive piece of clothing I own to hide the fact that I secretly hate myself. I’m about to turn 40 and I just can’t wait to die!
All the way to work I try to convenes myself that this is all right. I stop at the deli on the way into the office and get the biggest hot tea they have to offer and load it down with enough sugar that I could bake a cake with it and then top it off with cream. Bacon egg and cheese on a croissant, and two Almond Joys you know for dessert. Gotta feed that habit. I’m already kinda shaky from the lack of my drug in my system. Stressed about work I eat and push the candy bars down and all is write in the world again. Lunch the same thing more food than what is needed after the breakfast I just had but I eat just because it’s 1pm. Feeding my body more of the sugar that it craved. When I get home is when it would be the worst. I would send one of the boys to the store with 5 bucks and a list of things that read like a trick or treater wet dream. These were just for ME to snack on for the night. All of this piled high on my nightstand I would watch show after show about what FOOD and feed my habit! Some life… Little did I know that I was killing myself.
I have always been a reader and one day while snacking and searching the internet, I found an article about how eating sugar was just like being on drugs! WHAT! This made me stop and think about all that I was eating. I started to take notice of my behaviors when it came down to my candy bar and cookie intake. At the end I was downing somewhere around 8 to 10 candy bars per day and that’s not including ice cream, cookie or cake! I had a for real problem.
I started to talk about to everyone! Hey did you know sugar reacts in your brain the same as if you were doing hard drugs such as Heroin or Cocaine! But unlike Heroin there is no methadone for sugar. You kick or you don’t. Let me tell you it’s hard. There is no support system in place either. NO meetings in church basements where you can talk about the time you baked cookies for your kids and hide half of them in your room and ate them while you cried about eating them. This was a binge this was everyday eating for me. This crap was ruining my life and I had been on it FOREVER!!! What to do??? You have to start somewhere SO I gave up soda and juice and my beloved English breakfast tea. It was a start and I latched on to it with both sweaty hands.
I took the biggest step ever. I gave up my beloved dessert! It’s been hard and I struggle each and every day of my life I think about warm chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven. Sugar shows up in your life in all kinds of ways. From cheese to dried fruit. You can’t seem to run from it but you do have to tame it in some way.
You see when you have an issues with food most people feel it’s an easy fix, just don’t eat all of that or start eating more and you will be fine. Easier said than done! So what kind of support I got was little to none. Now let me tell you if I was smoking crack and I went into rehab and came out my friends and family wouldn’t have been offering me crack, HECK No, yet every chance they got they were handing me a glass of soda or a slice of cake. This was even after I told like everyone that I knew about my issues with sugar they looked at me like I have 5 heads and said hush and sat the cake down in front of me. WTF! Get over I was told by one friend it’s not the end of the world. This story is only a short look into my trials of sugar/drug addiction but enough for you to understand. I didn’t pack this post full of statics because I wanted you to look at how I saw sugar. It was my friend and lover all rolled into one! I miss it like crazy, just like I’m sure crack heads miss crack. But just like the recovering crack smoker or drinker would I take each day one at a time.
Did you enjoy what you just read?? Yes! Great then be sure to send me some of those wonderful green hearts!
Natasha is a trained chef, certified wellness and self -love coach that has a natural blend of woo woo and education. While working with Natasha, you will have compassion and honesty that will help propel you beyond your current state of wellness. With her special brand of coaching, she’s designed a fresh, thoughtful approach to your health and wellness, that helps ensure your long-term success. You’ll experience new possibilities, non-judgmental accountability and total support. In Japan the art of repairing something broken with gold is called Kintsugi. We all have cracks in our lives that need filling… why not fill them with gold and turn your life into a beautiful work of art?