If you love someone, change them
No, you didn’t misread the title, and I didn’t forget a few crucial words in it either. As strange as it may sound, and as much as it may contradict what you’ve heard, if you love someone, you should change them.
The age old saying ‘If you love someone, don’t try to change them’ is based on the notion that if you truly love someone, you love them just as they are, and won’t want to change them. While this is a nice idea about acceptance, I believe in changing the one you love. If you love someone, inspire them to grow as a person, and be part of that transformation!
I believe the problem is not in wanting to change someone, but in your motivation behind wanting to do so. If you think: “I would love them if they were like this… or if they did that…” then you don’t truly love them, and that notion becomes invalid even before the punchline hits. On the other hand, if you truly love someone, and that first statement is already achieved, then you see the beauty in them, their areas for improvement, their potential, and how they can change for the better.
People change, that’s inevitable, life happens, and expecting someone to always remain the same as when you met is unrealistic, a recipe for disaster, and could not be further from the ever-sought after unconditional love. If you care deeply for someone, contributing to their journey and transformation is an investment, the ROI: having them be the best version of themselves, and your relationship, stronger.
When you meet someone, you are two unique individuals bringing along different experiences, thoughts, and views. Ultimately, if you are both open to listening, discussing, and sharing, hearing these different point of views will make you discover new realities… and you guessed it… change you!
If there is no change whatsoever, you either have the exact same views on everything (…and someone is lying), you are not willing to challenge each other, and/or one of you (or both) is closed off to any reality other than your own. In all cases, not a good foundation for any relationship.
Change the way they experience love, the way they see the world, the way they see themselves, and amplify their strengths. Inspire them, and through your love, change them into the best version of themselves, helping them reach new levels they have yet to discover. See their potential, support them, and push them to reach it!
If you love someone, you should absolutely change them, make them even better than they were when you met, and be open to change yourself.
