From the fruit of the Holy Spirit in Galatians 5, the number one trait I feel I am really challenged by is patience. I don’t consider myself very impatient but I also won’t consider myself patient. There is an in-between which I don’t know how to put into words. But one thing is certain for now — I need to improve on it.
It’s already been a year since I transferred to a new location which meant living far away from my family and new found friends in my hometown. Initially, I thought it would be a good sacrifice because of the opportunity I was getting. Even though being away from my family didn’t help, meeting old friends again from this new place (or country I would jokingly say because everything is here in this small location!!) gave light to what could be a meaningful transition.
It was a good sacrifice — I learned to be more efficient in data handling because of the new work but more importantly, I learned more about myself — mostly about how far I can go and how I think before act. There is some sense of maturity I would say! But after one year, I can’t help but ask, “What now?” I was getting impatient. I felt the Lord left me behind. I was starting to compare myself again to others.
I do not feel the same as I felt before I accepted the job. Firstly, it was not the job I expected (what people say is true — you’ll know if you’ll like it or not until you’re there). Within that year, I weighed its pros and cons. Sometimes the pros outweigh the cons. Sometimes otherwise. I am uncertain of why the Lord led me here. During those moments, I don’t think I have totally forgotten about the Lord. It’s a good reflection as to how I am now more aware of the presence of our loving God in good and bad times. However, I think I was forgetting how greatly faithful He can be. I was reminded of the following:
- His plans are greater than mine. His plans will always prevail.
- The NEED of dependence on Him — to seek His help. We really can’t live life alone.
- Crying out to Him will always give you peace beyond understanding.
- He does not leave anyone behind. He listens to His every children.
- He is unchanging. He is in control.
After a year, a surprise scenario changed my understanding of what seemed to be an already stagnant life. I am grateful for this new opportunity whether it pushes through or not. If it pushes through, I definitely can say it was God’s will. If not, it still did good to my spiritual life because the Lord has told me to either wait further or just hold on to Him and to what He can do in my life. I am currently learning to entrust it to the Lord since I have zero control over it this time. I was just really relieved that at my down moments, He can bring me up again as fast as the snap of the fingers. He is sovereign and I need Him. In addition, it also seems like the Lord is telling me, “Just wait. Not everything will be given in an instant.” I have a good feeling there will be more tests to come regarding patience. But if it’s for my growth to be Christ-like, I would say yes to it. Nothing is better than being called a child of God with a daily dose of sanctification!
