Nathan Eanes
Feb 24, 2017 · 1 min read

In reading your article, I was reminded of another angle on this topic: attachment styles. Among people who are not securely attached, most are either avoidant (i.e. uncomfortable with “too much” emotional intimacy) or preoccupied/codependent. Statistically, more men tend to be avoidant, and women codependent. There are many reasons why the genders are typically socialized to be this way.

In my marriage, we have the opposite dynamic; my wife is avoidant, and our relationship is similar to what you describe in your article, just gender-reversed. This has made me wonder: could this article also be describing the avoidant attachment style, which is more commonly a male attribute?

Note: this isn’t a disagreement, nor a “not all men” objection. I’m thankful for what you’ve written and largely it does seem to ring true.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight.
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox.
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month.