Q Speaks: Donald Trump Lost the Election on Purpose

Hey everyone! Q here. Apologies for my recent silence. I’ve been busy working on The Plan. Trust me, it’s coming together nicely. I really appreciate your patience and blind faith during these trying times.

Today’s drop will be brief because I know reading full, sequential paragraphs is challenging for many of you. Worry not! I’ll follow up later with a poorly-produced YouTube video for you to lazily consume.

Look, you’re upset about the election. You can’t bring yourself to accept the results. I get it. But I’m here to tell you some big news. Donald Trump lost the election on purpose.

Think about it!

Waging a secret war on a vast network of Satan-worshipping celebrity pedophiles takes a lot of time and effort. Being President of the United States just gets in the way. Donald Trump is simply focusing all his time and energy on saving the children.

I know, I know. You’re asking yourselves “How can this possibly be true?” Well, remember when I told you Tom Hanks has a sex slave tied up in his basement and Wayfair.com is trafficking children and COVID-19 is a manufactured distraction and you all just went with it despite zero factual evidence?

I’m asking for that level of undying fealty yet again.

Now I need you to take action! Please spread the news that Donald Trump lost the election to all of your friends on Parler and the #BoredWineMoms Facebook Group.

Tell them you looked it up. Tell them you did the research. Help us win the war against Satan once and for all.

With gratitude,

Q.