I appreciate your curiosity, and I will do my best to answer fully. You asked why I didn’t just assume the best. I can offer several reasons: One is that I try (and surely don’t always succeed) to minimize all of my assumptions, both good and bad. I try to see a situation for what it is, and not to fill any gaps with my imagination, but instead just accept my ignorance. Another reason is that the language used was very biting, so on the face of it, it seemed pretty clearly an attack to try to silence me rather than just a helpful bit of advice. And based on the person’s previous writings, the pattern seemed to indicate an inclination to attack in these situations rather than offer helpful advice. But even with all those indicators, I didn’t want to assume that I knew their mindset, so I played out the possibilities in my head and responded accordingly.
You also asked why I didn’t just write the last bit without the defensive lead, and the answer is that I value vulnerability and I believe the world would be a better place if we could all be more vulnerable and open with each other, and the biggest reason why people aren’t more vulnerable with each other is because they are afraid of getting hurt/attacked if they do display any vulnerability. I gave you a very open and vulnerable response because I *want* to be more vulnerable and I wanted to accept your implicit invitation to be vulnerable. But then this other person chimed in with what was at best an impolitic response and at worst an outright attack, and I wanted to be clear that my choice to be vulnerable shouldn’t be seen as an invitation to attack me, so that hopefully next time they’ll think twice about attacking a person who displays vulnerability.
Finally, I also make it a practice to try to receive the information being offered in any interaction regardless of the emotions and conflict that surround it. What they said, if packaged a bit differently, is actually true and good advice, so I chose to receive that information rather than make the person all wrong just for being mean to me.