I’m a huge YES to everything you’ve written, too. I apologize sincerely for the pain my earlier posts caused you (and anyone else), and for the arrogance and privilege that still bleeds through my words, despite my every effort to the contrary. I have been actively working to deconstruct both for as long as I can remember, and I know there’s still plenty of work for me to do. I strive every day to be the best human I can be, despite all this unearned privilege that is given to me at the expense of so many.
Something you said reminded me of my time in Africa. I wanted to get away from my wealth and privilege, but even as close as I got to that ideal (which wasn’t all that close, ultimately) it became clear to me that I could never truly separate from it, and more importantly, for me it would always be a choice. My African friends don’t have the option of getting on a plane and leaving it all behind. I can’t give that privilege to them, and I can’t take it away from myself. That’s just the reality, and I try to keep it in mind with all marginalized groups, always.
It is incredibly sad to me that asking nicely doesn’t work, as you say. It should be enough, but it so rarely is. It’s hard to know what to do with that, no matter how many boxes of privilege one can check off. I do my best to communicate the realities of systemic racism and all forms of oppression to my white brethren, and even though my body gives me the most privilege the world has ever seen, it’s still an achingly slow and frustrating process. I can’t even imagine how much worse it is when all the base assumptions are lined up against you, not for you.
As much as I come across as an insufferable know-it-all, I am here to learn, too. I’d rather make mistakes and learn from them than to play it safe. I do strongly believe that it is our inherent and shared humanity that provides the best path to reach those who need to be reached, but I’m still learning how to fully embody and communicate that. You are proving to be an excellent teacher in that regard, and I will continue to learn from you as much as you allow me to. I like you too, and I look forward to our further discussions.