Nathan Whiteside
Jul 22, 2017 · 2 min read

It’s an interesting point you’re making. In terms of the anger, I think that’s been earned a thousand times over. I think anger is a most appropriate response to the racist realities of our nation, most especially for black and native peoples. On a day to day basis, I feel that anger directed at me by many of the black people I encounter in my home town of Oakland, before we’ve even exchanged two words between us, because of what I represent. In every instance I internally shrug my shoulders because I figure they have every reason to be angry and little reason to believe I’m any different from the majority of white people they’ve had the displeasure of dealing with. If anything, I’m surprised and humbled that there isn’t even more anger directed at me and white America in general.

And while I understand that disconnecting from empathy is often a necessary survival mechanism, I have to disagree with your defense of SOB on two counts: 1) Disconnecting from empathy isn’t the step of one’s journey that leads to healing or solutions. As a rape survivor, I understand the need for anger, and the feelings of hatred that naturally arise towards one’s abuser, but I have also made a concerted effort to have empathy for my abuser, and even his abuser, despite the ruinous consequences of that abuse on my life and my psyche. That’s not a Stockholm reaction, that’s transforming the pain he gave me back into wholeness, so that I can feel love everywhere in my being, rather than allowing his disease of disconnection to continue to fester inside me. It’s from that place of empathy that we stop seeing each other as “the other" and can start working together based on our shared humanity. 2) SOB isn’t just a private citizen having his feelings, he’s an intelligent and outspoken author who is shaping opinion with his words. I have friends who post his articles on Facebook. He has influence, and while his data and analysis are sharp and on point, and his motivations are clearly in the right place, if he is communicating and justifying a lack of empathy, that meme spreads out from him in a way that encourages others to have a lack of empathy, to feel justified and morally vindicated in their lack of empathy. I understand it, I empathize with it, but I cannot agree with it or give it a pass. There has to be a better way. We all are challenged to find a better way, and it is in meeting that challenge that the world is made a better place.

Nathan Whiteside

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