How to Make Grilled Cheese in 35 Easy Steps!
An anxious person’s guide to making the classic comfort food.
3 min readAug 22, 2024
- Assemble your materials: bread, cheese and butter. That’s all you’ll need! So simple, right?
- Sniff the cheese. Has it expired? It smells kind of funky. Is that mold in the corner? No, it’s a smidge of graying avocado. Okay. Yeah, yeah. That cheese should be fine. It’s probably fine. But what if it’s not fine?
- Spend two hours searching what happens when you accidentally eat mold.
- Fixate on the result saying: “in extremely rare cases, it can lead to death.”
- Go to the grocery store. Buy new cheese.
- Duck behind the watermelon display when you spot your high school guidance counselor in the dairy aisle.
- Assess the benefits and risks of answering the nausea-inducing question of, “So, what are you up to these days?” vs. obscuring your face with a well-placed watermelon.
- Buy the watermelon and hightail it to your car.
- Curse when you realize: Damn it! I forgot the cheese!
- Redirect by telling yourself: It’s okay. Who needs cheese for a grilled cheese sandwich anyways?
- Take the butter out of the fridge and let it sit until…
