Coming Out as an Ally: Why Pride is Personal for Me
Katie Burke
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This comes from a good-hearted place, but Coming Out Day is not for you. Being an ally does not mean the same thing, and your struggles on mine and other LGBT+ peoples behalf, are still optional. You have the privilege of being cis and straight and you write an article about your brother’s story coming out and make this about you. This is not appropriate.

Did your brother give you the idea to come out today, did he ask you specifically to write this story about him? Is he okay with this coming up when possible employers google his name?

I know you mean well, but writing this article is not what a good ally does. Not unless specifically asked to. I have yet to meet another non cis non straight person who hasn’t criticized cishets “coming out” as allies.

What are you coming out of? What kind of prison of cisheteronormativity have you been pushed into all your life that you didn’t fit? Have you been denied jobs, shelter, medical care, therapy the way I have? (I know not everyone has gone through all of that, but many of us who are forcibly out, such as me as a trans person, have at least seen some of it.)

I suggest you look further into the topic of tokenizing because this is what you are doing. You are not a hero for being a decent person and then writing a human interest story about someone else’s life to you. Let your brother’s gratefulness be enough, let the members of my community have our own dedicated days without allies putting the focus on them.