Ladies it’s time to come clean

Ladies it’s time that we were honest. Now I know that for years now you’ve been preaching that you cook your looks to impress and please men. It sounds like a good story on paper, and it jives with all you ladies in the feminist camp. But I think it’s time to drop the act. Stop lying to yourselves and others.

You know damn well that at your age, you don’t do anything you don’t want to. Maybe you want guys to notice you. Maybe you want to attract the elusive Mr. Right that I hear discussed as if you’re searching for bigfoot. Maybe you even believe that you are actually pleasing men by being pleasant to look at. Maybe you think that this is anything more than dishonesty.

I guess that maybe I’m a bit frustrated when I hear feminists, tumblrettes, and young women in general say that they do all this for men. No sweetheart, you do this for you. It doesn’t matter what you look like, there is always a man out there who likes your type. The problem is that you don’t want to date the guys who like your type, and so you think that by cooking your looks you can land a man who wouldn’t normally go for your type.

I’ll hear women endlessly talk about how they diet and exercise to look hot. They spend five hours in the morning on hair and make up as if they’re fooling anyone but themselves believing that they come off to men as anything more than an optical illusion. They know damn well that they do it because they want to.

Then these women act is if there weren’t women at every stage of the fashion industry choosing and creating clothes that look good on women so that you’ll be likely to wear it. Frankly I’m tired of it. I’m sick of women acting as though men twisted their arms behind their backs and made them wear that short skirt and stiletto heels. I’m sick of these women pretending that this is more than the female equivalent of a pissing contest.

Because that’s what it is. You don’t dress like that to get men. Because as long as you aren’t entirely repugnant in personality, some man somewhere will take you. The reality is that you dress up to achieve status and to impress other women. You put on the mask because you want to compete with the other girls, or because you like looking nice, or both.

I am here to tell you ladies, that men would still date you without a layer of make up on your face that is several milimeters thick. You would destroy the need for a fashion industry if tomorrow women decided to say “fuck it!”, and switched to sweatshirts and yoga pants. But you aren’t going to do that, because let’s face it, you like looking nice. You like the attention you receive. You like people noticing that you busted your ass to get yourself to look nice.

But please ladies, don’t pretend that you did it all for men. Because if you were to actually ask the average man what he wants, it’s usually a woman that wears little make up, with attire that isn’t overly revealing, and who is slightly curvy. Now sure they might want to sleep with the woman with a ton of make up, a rockin’ body, and who wears clothing that leaves little to the imagination, but he doesn’t want to settle down with her.

He doesn’t want to settle down with her, because those women spend all their time on their looks. As a result they have no personality. Those women are basically blank slates, because while they were mastering the fine art of make up application, other women were using those hours to learn important skills or to form a personality. With those girls, their looks are probably the most interesting thing about them. Contrary to popular belief, a guy doesn’t want to share his life and his money with a beautiful idiot.

Looks are fleeting, and men know that. There used to be this concept of aging gracefully, and of honoring the elderly. But women changed the standard, by getting plastic surgery and injections. They get lifted and tucked, and all manner of horrible things. All so that they can compete with other women. To sensible women and most men, you look fucking ridiculous. Just stop. Do what you want because you want to do it. Stop trying to impress other women and then get angry at men for noticing.

Stop wearing that revealing outfit, and feigning innocence while men stare at your ass. You didn’t wake up at the asscrack of dawn so that a man would give you less than a passing glance. What you women are really mad at, is that you attract the garbage man as well as the attractive guy at your workplace. You’re angry that the right man isn’t attracted to the carefully crafted appearance you’ve constructed that makes you look like you’re in a constant state of arousal.

You’re mad that you aren’t picking up husband material at a bar or a club. You’re mad when a man realizes that you, like all the other girls wear make up because you like the attention. So then, feminist or not, you say, “Oh I wish I didn’t have to do all this to get noticed.” Well you don’t. It just requires something that you probably don’t possess, which is a personality.

Don’t believe me? Ask yourself honestly. What is interesting about you? Why should a man drop what he’s doing and decide to talk to you above the other girls? Your looks are a conversation starter because you have nothing interesting to say outside of yourself and your problems. Ask yourself, when was the last time you had something interesting to discuss outside of that one bitch at your workplace?

It’s not that men are shallow. Some are, but not all. It’s that your carefully crafted look, acts as a method of misdirection from your shitty personality. So while you’re trying to decide what shade of blush is the best choice, you could’ve been enhancing your mind. If there’s a reason that some men don’t take women seriously, it’s this. Because you will pour hours into making yourself look like a knockout, and then when you open your mouth it’s like staring into a blackhole of shallow bullshit and personal problems. It’s like seeing a beautiful bird with magnificient plumage, but it’s song sounds like nails on a chalkboard.

The funny thing is that even when the looks obsessed women try to be original, they fail. Now the latest fad seems to be for women to dye their hair crazy colors in the least offensive way possible. As if to say, “Look at me! I’m female, but I’m being alternative!” Their intellect, if any, amounts to new age quackery, postmodernist bullshit, feminist politics, or some mixture of the three. Which is the intellectual depth of a puddle.

I want to leave my fellow women with something to meditate on. I know that not every woman can be a genius, and not all of you have more going for you than your looks. Some women will never be smart enough to do more than pole dance or model for a living and that’s fine. But some of you girls can be so much more. I only ask that when you wake up one morning as a middle aged woman with fading looks and the self-awareness needed to realize how much time you wasted, that you don’t pretend a man held a gun to your head and made you apply mascara when you could’ve been reading Poe. You had a good time doing what you were doing and now it’s over. Let it go! Get on with your life and stop blaming anyone but yourself for your own decisions!

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