The New Man
Sometime after women’s suffrage first became a thing there was the idea of “the new woman.” People thought it was very radical that women were doing things that were unheard of. They were becoming sexually promiscous. They could drink and smoke alongside men and felt at home beside them in a bar.
So of course suffragettes were upset. They felt that these women were disrespecting all that they’d worked for. A generation of women casting aside victorian values was not something they had in mind when they picketed the streets and spoke of women’s rights. They were disgusted that women should be having premarital sex, drinking, smoking, and driving cars.
This idea of women’s emancipation continued on into second wave feminism with women who believed that marriage and children were a kind of slavery. There was this belief that women needed to band together to free themselves from this slavery, and that only through power in numbers could they free themselves from patriarchial control.
I am of a different opinion on this. I believe that women have always had a form of power, and have always had an inherent value as not only wives and mothers, but also important members of a community. There is this misplaced belief that women were no better than farm animals in the past and that they were not admired and respected. Without that respect and admiration, women could not have gained the right to vote in the 1st world.
Men could have very easily thrown their weight around and said no. They could have said that women must register for selective service to earn the right to vote. They could have said that women simply weren’t full citizens in the way men were and put their foot down. But they did not do any of those things and in 1920 white women could vote.
Women now have every right that men have and more, but they can not be satisfied. Women have had a time when they could go against social norms and consider themselves independent, but men have yet to have a similar movement in the west. Men have been expected to be these stoic creatures, that must hold a job, and must be able to support a wife and family. But if he cannot do that or if he doesn’t want to, someone shames him.
We are on the brink of something unheard of in the west; the new man. The new man sees the aftermath of the new woman and decides that her predecessors are not worth the trouble. He is smart, capable, but does not see the point in marrying a woman that considers herself independent while reaping the benefits of a society that sees her as dependent on a man to survive. This man sees how marriage legally disadvantages men and decides that he cannot and will not legally marry a woman.
The new man sees women as his equal and as such sees no point in privileging her with things like alimony, when he is unlikely to receive a similar privilege. He is contented to live a bachelor lifestyle if he must, and has no problems speaking to a woman as if she were one of the guys. Now the problem with this is that modern women have not become the independent woman that the new man so desperately craves.
Modern western women have become privileged princesses who are offended by the littlest thing and maintain that anything and everyone can be sexist. So if a man speaks to her like an equal, she will become offended as she is accustomed to a certain amount of special treatment and attention. So when he speaks to her like anyone else, it is taken as an offense. Universities across the united states are adding things like trigger warnings to textbooks to protect the delicate feelings of the gentle flowers who wish to read Chaucer.
Universities are speaking of the concept of safe spaces for women. But what is happening is a kind of neo-victorian attitude, where women are offended by anything and everything, and men are expected to fall in line and become their protectors. This is directly opposed to the men who believe that women are strong and capable enough to stand on their own two feet.
The new man will be branded a misogynist. He will be called a pig and a devil, for not pedestalizing women. He will be told that holding women accountable for their actions is sexism and that he must learn to be more sensitive to women’s feelings. 3rd wave feminist women are incompatible with the men that the second wave created.
The new man does not need a woman to survive, but he might wish for a loving companion. A woman who sees his compassion as misogynistic will be unwelcome. In asking for a man that sees women as his equal, these women have created the new man and are now rejecting him, declaring his actions as a move to maintain patriarchial control, when he merely wishes to express himself as an individual.
When he won’t get married, when he won’t take a dangerous profitable job, when he is selective about the women he dates, that is perceived as somehow harmful to women. When he sits wrong on the subway, when he stands up to pee, and when he points out the obvious differences between men and women, it will be seen as a kind of violence.
We are not seeing an epidemic of misogyny in the west. We are seeing male children of divorce all grown up, who are saying enough is enough. They want a good life, and a good partner who treats them like a human being. They don’t want to be the sort of man who gets nagged at by a spoiled hateful shrew everyday and every night. They want loving partners who are warm, kind, and self-reliant. They want women who don’t shame them for their hobbies or who demand that they change who they are to suit the needs of a woman who will not appreciate any of it.
We are seeing the result of girls being taught that men are the enemy. So instead of becoming more capable and self-reliant, they are seeing misogyny anywhere and everywhere. Then they lash out at the only people willing and able to tolerate them; men. These women are becoming increasingly reliant on government help and assistance, and it is making them weak and dependent. Which is why they need safe space rooms filled with videos of puppies and playdoh. We are witnessing the infantilization of the female gender in the west and people are too terrified to point it out.
It is my hope that there will be more women willing to rebel against this infantilization. It is my hope that women realize that the only barrier to success is themselves. There is not a complex web of intersecting oppression hanging over their heads. It is their belief in such a system that makes them a paranoid wreck, entirely dependent on others for survival. I am dreaming of a generation of women who are strong and capable, and who are secure enough with themselves that they are not so easily offended by anything and everything. Women deserving of the new man.
