Well Xavier it’s not that this woman voiced her opinion. It’s this idea of not accepting people as they are, that makes me mad. A lot of women, but not every woman, engage with men and then proceed to try and change them. I’m not so much offended as I am upset at the idea that someone can befriend another, not appreciating another for who they are, but who you’d like them to be. If a guy friend makes crude jokes, if he’s a real asshole, I know that they are this kind of person. If I’m offended, that’s on me, because offense is taken and not given.
She knows precisely who her friends are, and what kinds of jokes they make. She knows damn well that these guys making an occasional rape joke doesn’t make them sexist or a potential rapist, but she still acts like these good men in her life are somewhat responsible for the few guys that treated her bad.
As for the honesty bit, she’s not being honest in a constructive way. She could have just spoken to them upfront about it, instead of engaging in what amounts to public shaming and passive aggression.
Furthermore I despise the idea of people demanding that a group of people conform to them specifically rather than the other way around. That’s why I don’t like other women as much. They’ll say, “I’m offended” and suddenly everyone changes to accommodate her and it fucks up the dynamics of the group, and it ceases to be honest.
It basically means that she’s not friends with them because she likes them as they are, but what she thinks they should be. That’s not being friends with a person, but a superficial friendship where they just like the idea of you rather than who you really are. That to me is disgusting.
Her saying she’s friends with these men, it’s like saying you like a room in a house, but that they just need to swap out all the furniture, rip up all the carpet and paint it all a different color. That’s about as dishonest as it gets.