You’re Probably a Liar, But You Were Born That Way.
Most people are walking around as liars. Fakes. You. Me. Your lover. That guy at the coffee shop. All of us. But it’s not our fault completely. It’s simply a skill we were taught from the beginning.
From relationships to business, we don’t tend to put our true faces forward — we put our best faces forward. Because heaven forbid, people see our hurts, fears and weaknesses. Heaven forbid they find out we are in fact, human and one they can relate to. Vulnerability is frightening.
So it’s far better to show up as gods, right? As these untouchable, better than ever beings that are not here to learn, but to teach all. Unfortunately, there’s a kryptonite to this way of being, because the raw truth is that we only show up like this out of our own insecurities.
We know who we are. (I know who I am and you know who you are.)
All those things we journal and think about? All those ‘what-ifs’ and ‘then-what’s’ are actually a very clear picture of the true self within you. That’s real. That’s who you are with your mask off. That’s the me I don’t want anyone to see.
Because they could leave. They’d know and then they’d reject me. Who could love me then? No… it’s far safer to show you the colors I love than the ones the paint me as I am.
Fear of rejection and judgement is the number one reason our relationships stop short of the bonds they could truly have, as well as why our businesses can seem to move forward in slow motion or just feel ‘not right’ for so long. We don’t want to be rejected so we don’t show people who we really are.
But I’ve got something HUGE to share with you.
#1. If you show up fully as you and people leave, let them. Who wants to be loved and adored by a person who only loves you as… not you?? That’s not love anyway. So why settle for it?
#2. If you don’t show up as you in your work, one of two things are going to happen. Either you’re going to spend forever being the icon people are holding you up as and eventually buckle under the pressure of not being able to keep up and deliver on character 24/7. Or, you’ll hear crickets. The world will know that something is off and you won’t get the clients or engagement you’re looking for.
#3. Showing up as you is the biggest damn gift you can give to yourself and the world. Nobody’s life is going to be enriched by your role playing. But show up and share with me your strengths and weaknesses? Yes ma’am, I’m going to want to get to know you. Because if we share weaknesses, I’ll know I’m not alone. If we share strengths, I’ll know we can lift each other up. And if we can share that — we can share joys and sorrows at the deepest levels of the soul.
No, it’s not easy. It’s no easy feat to show up with that sort of courage. As a society, we’ve become groomed to accept our co-dependancies as normal, and we’ve dismissed vulnerability as weakness. But we both know, when we put our defensive fists down, that depending on other people for the determination and validation of our worth is toxic. It’s deadly. It will rob you of your joy and fire for life, it will dilute your dreams, it will keep you in unhealthy and abusive relationships — with others and with yourself.
Dear friend. Vulnerability is not weakness. It’s not dangerous. It’s the highest form of courage and it’s the heart your liberation.
So please, take off your mask. Show up in your truth and let your heart be seen. This is the beginning of living in freedom.
Please share what you think in the comments below! How have your masks kept you from truly living?
And will you do me a favor? If you liked this piece, please like, recommend it to others and share it so that more people can see it. The more we share, the more we grow!
Navae Lukas, Life & Business Catalyst helping Women Move Beyond Their Fears & Reconnect to Their True Selves, While Creating Purposeful Lives & Businesses. Follow on Instagram for more juicy words and inspirational images!
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