5 Steps to Connect With Your Teenager
This article is for the upcoming event at Trinity Lutheran College, “5 Tools to SKYROCKET your Child’s Confidence” …. LEARN MORE HERE

The shoulder shrug, roll of the eyes and loud sigh. All too familiar signs of your overexcited teenager.
There’s almost an ice wall between you, when did it get like this?
More importantly, how do you break that wall? Here are 5 strong steps to connect with your teenager:
1) The Inner Circle
Sub Culture, Sub Culture, Sub Culture.
Ever feel like you and your teen are in two different worlds?
But Why?
With the rise of internet and entertainment options, thousands of sub cultures have popped up. From online games to startups to fans of frog spotting, each subculture has it’s own set of nuances, trends and topics of interest. With so much going on, how can you keep up with all your teen is into?
Once you know the types of things their interested in, these tools will ensure your updated with the latest and get in their ‘inner circle’:
b) Paper.li
c) Feedly
2) Stay in the Loop
Connecting is 10 times easier when you and your teen have shared experience. Building on your knowledge of their subculture, there are bound to be events that spark your teens interest around town. Opportunity Alert.
Go along to these and your teen will feel special. Who doesn’t like talking to someone that makes them feel special?
Bonus: Shared experience will make conversation starting that much easier for weeks to come.
Whilst events for niche interests aren’t normally advertised a lot, these tools make them easy to find:
a) Meetup
b) Eventbrite
3) RAP!
You’re getting there.
You’ve got shared experience, you know what’s happening in their ‘world’ and the ice is starting to break
But how do you get to the core of the iceberg, without freezing them off again? All you need to do is RAP. Rephrase, Ask, Praise. Here’s an example:
Teen: “I’m really stressed at school, I need to do Blah, Blah and Blah!!”
Rephrase = Sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate.
Ask = What sort of stuff is the hardest?
Praise = It’s good how you’re taking on this challenge head on.
IMPORTANT: There was no instructing, critiquing or advise giving here
Only RAPping. You need to get past the iceberg before they’ll listen to your advice.
4) Be Human
“Why Should I Listen to You!” is a question burnt inthe front of every teenager’s mind. Facts, stats and research aren’t going to cut it.
“Because I know what it feels like”. BINGO
When Superman or Superwoman shares their times of trouble, people listen.
Want your teen to listen? Take your cape off.
“My mom says she understands what I’m going through, but how? If she shared her past stories with me, I’d see the connection.” — Claire
5) Keep it Real
You don’t break an iceberg in a day. It’ll take a while, and balance is key. The moment it feels too forced (“let’s have some mommy son time”), your teen will smell it.
All runners start with baby steps and remember, this is a marathon ;)