An Open Letter to My PS4
Dear PS4,
How you keep me in your trance, I don’t know. There has been too many days, weeks, months that you have wasted. You are my epitome-my downfall-that I cannot control. What you have done to me is beyond repair. Every missed deadline and forgotten homework, should be blamed on you. Do you see my flabby arms and those missed workouts? I do. I hate your very own existence.
Wait. Hold on, I don’t mean it. Please don’t go. I cannot survive without you. The late nights snuggled up on the couch, with Mountain Dew and Doritos, cannot be replaced. The countless hours with friends, cracking jokes over a mic and all the fun I have, makes up for it. You are all I need. School? Too boring. Sports? I’m too lazy. Relationships? Yeah right. All I have to do is hit the power button, then sit back and relax. From watching the whole Burn Notice series on Netflix, to playing Call of Duty Black Ops 3 Zombies all night; I can always find a way to enjoy myself.
But all this unravels in controversy, as you know everything comes with a price. At $350 for just the console and one remote, you are what every parent doesn’t want to see on their child’s Christmas list. But don’t forget about the extra $60 remotes for friends and siblings to use. That’s a solid 8 hours of flippin burgers at Mickey D’s for a piece of plastic. Oh and then the games, its Christmas time now when everyone releases all the new must have games. The pile of games stack up like a librarian’s book collection, each amounting $60 plus. Well, there is another $300 a year if you want to actually be able to use your console. Did I mention it’s also $50 to buy a year of online service? What about that $60 DLC per game to keep playing normally? The monthly Netflix fees? Even the in-game purchases? I could go on forever, but you would already have an empty wallet, I know I do.
I mean, aside from the price, there is nothing to worry about, right? You seem to take my mind off all the problems I have. Even the death of a beloved pet or a dramatic break up is no match for you. Yes, maybe if the zombie apocalypse started or WWIII broke out, I might put you on pause. Maybe, I would have to think about it. As long as there is a stable internet connection, and electricity in my house, the world will keep spinning. You are my getaway, the place where I can go to just zone out and enjoy myself; no matter what is going on in the real world.
But that is exactly the problem, you are NOT the real world. You are simply colored pixels on a screen, connected to a plastic box. You are a fictional world, which will yield nothing in return. It is hard to realize but it is the truth. Every minute I spend playing games is time that cannot be made up for. As I sit on the couch in concentration, time is being sucked away from me. But not at normal speed, it seems as if time goes twice as fast. Before I know it, I’ve wasted a whole day watching The Office. You know what? That’s okay because I have tomorrow night to do my school work. Nope. The PS4 already has tomorrow night scheduled. What about the day after? Yep then too. So when do I do my homework? Well, the time between 11 pm and when I wake up, that’s when.
It is so easy to pass the blame; my professors give me too much work, I didn’t know about it, my brother kept distracting me. All viable excuses until this moment. I have witnesses now, from my mom coming in screaming “DO YOUR HOMEWORK”; to countless friends who tell me over PS4 chat I have “no life”. Yeah good friends right? My PS4 is the problem. It all makes sense now.
But the real question is-what will I do? Yep PS4, goodbye, I’m going to give you away to some little kid who needs you. After all this time I finally will! But for now, let me finish up this one last game.
Yours Truly,
Noah
