“You’re probably not going to believe me at all, but I have to say it,” I say, blushing. “The scene in there — the ungodly smell — that was not me. I swear.”
A Foul Occurrence at the Coffee Shop Restroom
Scott Muska

Seinfeld, is that you?

No but actually this is pretty funny. I almost wish I could meet a significant other in such a situation!