My Tweet Compilation May-Sept 2012

As curated by @amasna’s favourite tab

May 08, 4:01 PM
They said, “The best thing in life is free” | I agreed, and add WIFI by the end of that sentence.

May 23, 8:50 AM
But due to the rising racism protest, The producer of MIB is now thinking of changing the title into MIAA. a.k.a. Men in African American.

Jun 08, 5:10 PM
Temen: “Nic, tablet yg bagus di bawah dua juta apa ya?” | Gue:”Panadol” | Temen: (masi ga nyadar) “Oh. Keluaran mana?” | Gue: “Kalbe Farma”

02 Jul, 02:38 PM
The Lion, The Japanese Comic, and The King. Si Singa Manga Raja.

09 Jul, 08:28 AM
You wouldn’t believe how many time I misheard “Social Media is Measurable” to “Social Media is Miserable”

16 Jul, 08:05 AM
If Apple tried to market digital Make Up products, it’ll probably name it: iLiner.

22 Jul, 11:58 AM
If they let people upload photos everytime ‘Buka Puasa’ is occur, they could start a new startup called Insta’jilgram.

26 Jul, 07:07 AM
I wish facebook would buy Palm soon, because somewhere in the near future, we all need a ‘facepalm’.

26 Jul, 07:25 AM
When a fool would ask, “What should I do to woke up with lots of naked chicks?”, a Wise Man would answer, “Thee shall become a Hen.”

07 Aug, 01:11 PM
Lagi asik-asiknya ngerjain orang dgn pura2 jadi Turis Jepang berbahasa Inggris, dari belakang ada: “EH NIC, PA KABAR LO? KEMANE AJE?”

08 Aug, 12:54 PM
… That’s why they call it “Sour Sally” RT @MindbIowingFact: The bacteria found in Yogurt, is the same bacteria found inside a vagina.

12 Aug, 05:05 PM
Zakaria. Happy Scrotum. #Translation

13 Aug, 08:48 AM
UPS meledak. Kebacanya hampir kayak “Oops meledak #teehee #larilaricentil”

21 Aug, 10:43 AM
“Bottega Veneta” sounds elegant? In English it simply means “A shop in Veneta”. Yes. It hold the same value as “Warung Tegal”.

21 Aug, 10:50 AM
“Datanglah kepadaku, kalian semua yg letih dan berbeban berat. Akan kutunjukkan foto2 liburanku” — Status update from a friend in FB.

24 Aug, 09:11 AM
I consider myself as the Pablo Picasso of cooking. Semua yang coba gue masak, pasti hasil akhirnya jadi abstrak. Baik bentuk maupun rasanya.

04 Sep, 04:13 PM
#Overheard | A: “…Iya, jadi saya sempat 4 tahun di Seoul” | B: “Wah, jago bahasa Tagalog dong ya?” | A: “Tagalog itu di Vietnam Mas”

04 Sep, 10:18 PM
Konichiwa itu anagram dari Nico Hawk i. Siapa tadi yang nanya? … Oh iya ga ada.

06 Sep, 10:14 AM
It would also be funny if Indonesia joins Cuba and US. So the 3 country would be called “Incubus”… Out of Topic? Yaay!

10 Sep, 09:49 AM
Sudah lupa? | “Tentang?” | Good..

17 Sep, 04:51 PM
“Nic, emang abis ngelahirin gak bole keramas selama sebulan ya?” | …Should I ignore it, or should I pretend to be Pantene representative?

27 Sep, 08:35 AM
Tulisan di BusTJ: “Hari gini masih nyerobot jalur busway? Malu dong!” Iklan di bis di belakangnya: “Malu? Udah ga zaman! Kan pake Anti acne gel!”

29 Sep, 01:11 PM
Baru memesan Sop. Diberikan Sop, tissue, sumpit, dan sedotan… Okay, hold on. I can solve this riddle. I CAN!

29 Sep, 06:48 PM
I’m gonna make a movie named “Me pleased myself”. So people would go, “Hey honey, wanna watch me pleased myself? .. No wait lemme explain.”