Senior Project

My English teacher in my senior year gave us an assignment. The assignment was to write about something or someone in our lives that had helped shape us into who we were. He wanted us to really get into it and wanted it to be a good project that everyone could easily do. We had the rest of class to do it and we could work in groups if that would help. The class was set up in groups of four to five desks so that we did a lot of group work.

Everyone was talking and started to write things down I had an idea of what I wanted to write about but I was not sure if I wanted to. By the end of class most people had half a page to a full page done already, I had nothing because I couldn’t remember many details and the surroundings of people talking and the sounds outside made it hard to think. When the bell rang I was still hesitant on what i wanted to write about, but my friend who was there for me throughout the entire thing suggested that I write about it, she knew that my views on many things had changed since that time in my life. Which only help further prove to me that i should indeed write about it. English was my last class of the day so I walked to my car and drove home. The drive was only about fifteen minutes but on the drive home I was able to remember more details than in the classroom surrounded by everyone.

I got home and I walked through the door and walked straight up to my room and put my backpack down on my bed. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a snack and drink, back up to my room I went and sat down at my desk and opened my computer and logged onto my account and started writing down things i remembered on the ride home. I then started writing everything down, once I was home it was much easier for me to remember details and write them down, the details came to me much faster and the details then became a fluid piece of writing. I was in my own space which made writing it down much easier, it didn’t feel rushed or forced. Being able to sit at my own desk with very little distractions unlike school, i was able to write the entire event down and finish writing the rough draft within a couple hours.

I never fully discussed what happened before this class, i had told very few people about it, It was hard for me to talk to about at the time. Writing every detail i could remember down, helped me both physically and mentally because i used it as an outlet. Writing helped me physically because i felt the weight of carrying it lift off my shoulders, it felt great to finally talk about it and get it off my chest. Writing it down was great because it helped to show me a new perspective on not only the event itself but the entire time. It helped me to see how she wasn’t in the right mindset or place. It helped me to realize how she did not have control over the addiction, the addiction had control over her, she didn’t want to hurt us, she just didn’t have any control. Writing it all down had helped me to accept that what happened, happened. It helped me move on and let go after holding it in all those years.

Using this event for my writing assignment was one of the best decisions i could have made. Before the assignment i wasn’t able to talk about it without getting frustrated with the thought of it being my fault. After writing it down i made peace with it, i was able to use writing as a peaceful outlet, instead of lashing out i wrote everything i could remember at the time down so it was out of my system. Writing became an easy therapeutic way of coming to peace with it. Before this i never used writing as an outlet, but it was the best thing i have ever done. I haven’t used writing as an outlet since then but i’m sure i will in the future.