What Is Your Biggest Fear?
We’ve all been asked that question before. To which most of us reply with the same answer we’ve been giving since we were kids. But have you ever actually taken the time to think more deeply about it?
Well today we are by discussing the following:
- What are your true fears?
- Why is it so hard to discover them?
- How do we overcome them?
Let’s begin by answering the first question. The truth is, the fears that are impacting your life the most are not as obvious or extreme as things like drowning, venomous snakes, or heights.
They are actually being hidden in the depths of your subconscious brain. I’m talking about the dark corners you may not even realize exist. That’s where you find your real fears, the ones stopping you from reaching your full potential.
Although I cannot tell you what your specific fears are (as I am not you), I can clue you in on some common ones humans face and you can identify which resonate with you.
The first is fear of change.
A person living under this fear will constantly say that they can’t or shouldn’t take up new opportunities (even if deep down they really want to). Some examples of this would be choosing to stay at a job or in a location you hate just because it is familiar and easy.
The second is fear of failure.
This includes the fear of letting yourself or those close to you down. Symptoms of living in this fear include putting constant pressure on yourself to be perfect and/or refusing to pursue what your heart truly desires because you believe it is unattainable.
The third is fear of being misunderstood.
Someone who fears being misunderstood will feel the need to over explain everything they do and/or dilute their true personality in front of people in attempts to gain validation and acceptance.
The underlying theme between all three fears is the fact that we really do not want to get hurt. As humans we understandably do everything in our power to avoid feeling pain whether it be mental, emotional, or physical.
But if you are in a constant state of worrying about the possibility of getting hurt, you will end up actually creating a negative situation for yourself instead of preventing one.
So why are the typical “plane crash” or “drowning” fears so much easier to identify than those mentioned above? Let’s dive into question two.
It is because your subconscious does not want you to realize you have these fears. Biologically and evolutionarily speaking, the subconscious does not like change. It feels much more comfortable with familiarity and would rather you not take risks, so it forces you to feel normal in a fear driven mindset.
Subconscious fears are also often disregarded because you do not want to admit to having them. Unfortunately, in our society you would be labeled as weak for having these fears when in reality they are just as common as having two sets of fingers and toes.
Finally, you do not want to accept the fact that you are the only thing stopping yourself from reaching your full potential. As humans we love to play the blame game instead of taking the responsibility to progress in life ourselves.
Now that you have learned a bit more about subconscious fears, let’s discuss question three: how can you overcome these mental restraints?
The answer involves reprogramming your subconscious to embrace the fears instead of hiding from them.
This sort of psychological software update can be achieved through the use of positive affirmations. Positive affirmations are repeated phrases that help remind you of your potential and strengths.
Here are some example affirmations that will help deter the common fears stated above:
- “I am strong”
- “I am smart”
- “I am protected”
- “I am confident and courageous”
- “I understand and acknowledge my true self”
- “I accept myself and that is enough”
- “I deserve success”
- “I deserve happiness”
Choose a few that call out to you and repeat them every morning and night right before/after sleep. Do this even if you currently don’t believe you possess those positive attributes or deserve those things. Your words set the tone for your life and overtime you will begin believing the phrases you speak.
With positive affirmations must also come an acceptance of life’s uncertainties and the inevitability of pain. Understand that you are meant to have failures and setbacks because they teach you valuable lessons. After reaching this level of acceptance, you must then learn to make friends with pain.
There is no reason to be afraid of pain. It is just a feeling we as conscious beings are aware of. You pain does not define you, make you, break you, or last forever. Be grateful for your pain because it allows you to fully understand and appreciate the other side of the spectrum, happiness.
Now that we have discussed our subconscious “biggest fears” and how to overcome them, I will leave you with a final word of advice:
Begin viewing life as an opportunity you’ve been blessed with, rather than a difficult experience you’ve been forced into. This new perspective will make dealing with life’s hardships and your fears surrounding them much easier.
Really, what is life without risk?