I don’t think that I was trying to protect you, H. It was more observation.

I say that the world refuses to be saved, so I don’t try. My wife has another view. There are many starfish that wash up on the beach. If you throw one back and save it, she says, you made a difference for that starfish, although many more were not saved.

The only point that I was trying to raise is that people are rarely persuaded by argument. Especially in this case, where the individual kept changing the topic and throwing up strawmen. Time is short and we have to choose how we spend it.

I also don’t know how you persuade a man to see women as people like themselves, rather than objects, if that’s what they’re doing (and in this case, this guy was).

I think that part of the problem is that when we are growing up the other gender is mysterious. At first they don’t see to be “like us”. They are something other.

At some point as boys become men, hopefully they see girls and women as beings like themselves, not just objects. This is part of growing up and is a complex process. I don’t know how you can persuade someone to follow this process via writing.

What you can do is lay out behavior that is immoral and illegal. You can say “don’t do these things” or there will be consequences. Don’t have sex with people who are intoxicated. If someone says no, honor that. Be a good lover and “listen”. If someone doesn’t see to be enthusiastic, back off. Talk to them. Hopefully this will change behavior, even in less enlightened people.

I hope that I’ve been more clear here that I’m writing about my point of view and what I would do. I’m not trying to tell you that you should do these things, H. This is just my point of view. I honor any different point of view you have.