There are no definitive answers to the questions raised in this beautifully personal essay.
People want different things and weigh characteristics differently. It can also depend on what stage of life you’re in.
For some people, sex is important and a “square” lover who doesn’t like giving oral sex or is sexually adventurous would be a problem. For others this would be less of an issue.
There is something that I’ve been thinking a lot about recently: in the limit, all things come to an end. This is not only a comment about our life span, but also what we can do. Both for internal and external reasons. What you can do in your 30s and 40s you can’t necessarily do as easily in your 60s. In your 70s there may be things that you cannot do at all.
My advice is consider what is important to you and “seize the day”. There will be an end of all things, so do what is important to you now. At least later you will have your memories.
Sadly this advice is easier to give than to follow.