Second Chance
I wish I could say I give people second chances,I don`t! I know you are going to say that I am a Hypocrite am sorry am working on it being a Christian and all am not hiding behind the curtain or under someone`s skirt (read my profile I`ve fallen and am still falling). But you hurt me its mwaahhh!!! goodbye ! Adios! Hasta Lavista Baby!!! (in my best Schwarzenegger voice)
My mom died while I was 8 yrs Old she was the best thing that ever happened to me and I think a part of me died with her,shortly afterwards at 15 my dad kicked the bucket ( I’ve always wanted to say this) anyway which left me with wounds that are as big as the grand canyon big big cracks.So this has made me run away and shut people out for some reason,but here we are.
So about this second chance business! Yes I believe everyone in society has messed up and deserve second, third, trillion chances but tell you what I know about my faith, heck if the bible was re-written today and they decided to feature me I already know who I’d be( nah stop guessing !!!) it ain`t the woman with the issue of blood or Mary( Lazarus sister)It would be the lady caught in the act of “adultery”Why? cause am always caught in situations like these.You may ask me whats the deal with that? you are a beautiful African Woman(without the :-)Lupita do and by the way she’s from Kenya just like me)
Can I blame it on the people dying on me syndrome? or how about I like older men coz they treat me like daddy’s little girl? that part or role was taken away from me by the Grim. How about the Run Away Bride Syndrome?? this is where I break up with people when I start feeling vulnerable.
I do not want people on my round table this is where I am King Arthur and I also play the role of the Knights of the Round Table (Me,Myself and I)so I’d be saying something like:-
Sir Lancelot: (played by Salome) doth thee bethink that this guy should receiveth a chance to get extra innings?
King Arthur:(played by Salome) Alas!methinks tis time I hath left that gent mine heart is beginning to has’t feelings for that gent and I knoweth that gent wilt probably kicketh the bucket on me or cheat on me!
Do I give myself second chances? I don`t know haven`t gotten there yet am still trudging along,looking in the mirror is rather hard most days *sniff*
In the words of Emile Sande whom I absolutely love………..
I don’t do yoga, never tried Pilates
Not many people want me at their parties
Tryna find my place, some place, oh I, oh I, oh I
And I drink a little more than recommended
This world ain’t exactly what my heart expected
Tryna find my way someway, oh I, oh I, oh I
See, whoa, c’est la vie
Maybe something’s wrong with me
But, whoa, at least I am free, oh, oh, I am free
Yeah, whoa, c’est la vie
Maybe something’s wrong with me
But, hey, at least I am free, oh, oh, I am free
If you ask the church then I am no believer
Spend Sundays asleep I’m just another dreamer
Still tryna find my home sweet home, oh I, oh I, oh I
And I guess I ain’t too good for money neither
I got two left feet, no, I’m no Jackson either
Just tryna find my way someway, oh I, oh I, oh I
https://youtu.be/KDPW_g2AhAU
As I walk around in my head with my thoughts swirling in my head…and Emile in the background…I hope the Canyon will get a band aid or someone to sew it back together….may darkness flee as I fall on my knees and raise my hands…may the mender of the broken hearts and healer of life look up the tree and see me maybe he`d be so kind to dine with me and in the process find someone worth saving….
Grace and Love.
