I have already decided not to further interact with Charlie Glickman, mostly because I noticed his continued douchey behavior once I saw the full extent of the previous threads.
And when I publicly called him out on it, I received two separate pm’s about some other crooked shit he’d pulled even after being called out.
People, fucking listen to me: If anyone knows about abuse, it’s me. From all fucking sides.
Trust me when I tell you Charlie is not ready to be held accountable. He can’t be, because he’s not even seeing himself right now.
Stop fucking trusting, congratulating, and supporting these privileged dicks who have access to the marginalized people they prey on.
Consider history when you find yourself surprised that someone else in power has fucked up.
CW: emotional abuse, sexual assault
The special feeling when you find out your abusive former partner is sharing details of your sexual assault with colleagues. In this case, sharing the victim-blaming narrative of my assault that he created and kept repeating back to me day after day.
It would have been wholly inappropriate to share were it factual and were we still together. Neither is true. Given his history of emotional and psychological abuse around my rape, this is not just a boundary crossing but a reminder.
He has not stopped trying to manipulate me. He has not stopped trying to harm me.
He has been using mutual friends as access points, to the point where I am having to pull back from treasured, long-standing mutual connections simply to reduce his access to me.
This may have been the goal — he’s used isolation on me before, and has used sharing personal information inaccurately/without consent to do it.
He did this about my trans status when I was still early in my process, months before I came out publicly. I didn’t know at first why friends and colleagues were acting so strangely toward me and pulling back from me.
He tried repeatedly to get me to cut all contact with every member of my blood family.
He pushed for me to center him and his family as my own — always excluding my own friends and family from this cozy arrangement. I was then “disowned” and cut off when I pushed back on the family line about my rapist still being okay because, as they said, he never would have done what he did to me to my former partner’s wife.
I feel humiliated. I feel like I can’t escape this, or him.
Even in accountability he’s continuing to change and control the narrative. You’ll note that the request not to write publicly about consent, boundaries, and abuse during his accountability work process, which appeared in several places, has disappeared entirely from his accountability process check-in without a comment as to his plan there. When he doesn’t like a boundary, sometimes it’s like it was never even there.
I just want this to stop.
I just want him to leave me alone, to stop trying to make contact through mutual friends, to stop sharing details both true and fictionalized of my sexual assault with our mutual colleagues, to stop.
I am posting this publicly because it’s one of the few effective ways to combat this.
Because people need to know the nightmare is still happening for me. Because it is not okay to use a former partner’s rape to humiliate them with shared colleagues or with anyone.
Because I hate having to pull back from people I cherish, but I’m back to waking up every couple of hours shaking because of him.
I’ve spent the past week wondering if I need to leave the field I love and have been in for over 10 years. This is pervasive and awful.
If anyone has dealt with this kind of thing from an influential colleague and former partner, I welcome wisdom from those who have been there.
I request that comments defending his behavior be withheld. I spent years practicing compassion for his admitted abuse. At this time, that’s not a perspective I’m missing but one that I’m trying to let go of for the sake of my own well-being. Thank you. — Alex