Beware Drop Bears in the Shape of Gorgeous Actresses from Down Under

How I almost made it with what I thought was Nicole Kidman

Drop bears are even nastier when wet. (Photo courtesy Player Attack.)

FELLOW ROCK & ROLL FAN Steve Adams posted an image on my Facebook page of an Australian predator. It brought back memories that I had long suppressed of an event that involves three inhabitants of Australia: the Mamu, an ancient spooky thing from the deserts of Down Under; the drop bear, a legendarily ferocious critter that preys on unwitting tourists; and the extraordinarily lovely actress Nicole Kidman.

I am going to assume that Ms. Kidman needs no introduction, but that the drop bear does. The following is taken directly from the Australian Museum’s website entry on the creature:

“The drop bear (Thylarctos plummetus) is around the size of a very large dog with coarse orange fur with some darker mottled patterning (as seen in most Koalas). It is a heavily built animal with powerful forearms for climbing and holding on to prey. It lacks canines, using broad powerful premolars as biting tools instead.

Examination of kill sites and scats suggest mainly medium to large species of mammal make a substantial proportion of the animal’s diet. Often, prey such as macropods are larger than the Drop Bear itself.

Drop Bears hunt by ambushing…