I Used To Be Afraid of Change

And in some ways, I still am. I just don’t despise change in the ways that I once did.

I remember the day my parents sat me down to let me know they were moving out of the house I grew up in. I looked them in the eye and said, “No, you’re not.” It wasn’t even a possibility in my mind. The decision was the right one for them to make of course; we’d been living in that house for almost all of my 22 years and didn’t own it. My brother and sister were both married and I wasn’t living at home any more. It made sense, but I didn’t want any part of it. In spite of all my protests, it happened. I didn’t die as a result of it and I realized that there were bigger and better things ahead not only for my parents but for myself.

“Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.” ~ Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

Change is inevitable and as uncomfortable as it can be, when we learn to embrace it, we open ourselves to growth. The more I think about it, the more I believe that we can impact the change that happens in our lives by the actions that we take. I’m not suggesting that there aren’t circumstances that are out of our control. Most external circumstances, other than the ones that we directly create, are ones we have no power over. How we react to those circumstances is completely up to us.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” ~Maya Angelou

My father-in-law passed away exactly one week before my wedding. It was completely unexpected, absolutely devastating and entirely out of my control. Then a couple of weeks later, upon returning from our honeymoon, I learned that the company I had been working for was going out of business. Getting hit from both sides like that was far from easy; in fact it was probably one of the hardest, most challenging times in my life. I could have crawled under a rock and thrown a pity party for myself, but instead I chose to care for my new wife who was grieving for her father and adjusting to marriage at the same time. I had no way to control the change I had faced through these hardships, but I could control my attitude and the things I put my focus on.

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” ~ Leo Tolstoy

Around three years ago, my wife and I decided to invite massive change into our home by becoming certified as foster parents. On May 5, 2014, a two week old baby girl was placed in our home. She has forever changed our lives for the better. Being involved with the Los Angeles Department of Child and Family Services (DCFS) is far from easy. But the trials and stress of not knowing the future of our little girl has caused me to take long hard looks at myself, my relationship with God and where I see my family in the future. As trying as this process of change has been, the rewards far outweigh the difficulties.

“Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands.” ~Clint Eastwood

When the winds of change stir up in your life, how will you react to them?

Will you try in futility to fight them?

Will you try to run from them?

Or will you take the time to learn their lessons?