I am a survivor

My latest tattoo is known as the Fire Rose Unity Survivor tattoo.
It was created by Lady Gaga when she performed her song “Till it Happens to You”, which was written to educate people about sexual abuse.
“The tattoo was made for, and dedicated to, survivors. It is a unity symbol inspired by the loops of our DNA structure and our universal infinity sign. It combines inspiration from Lady Gaga’s favorite flower, the white rose, to breathe life into an organic and growing symbol. The final image embraces a fiery shape to give us power and strength everywhere we go.”
Many of you are questioning me as to why I would want a constant reminder of what I went through on my wrist.
While some people may think of it as a reminder, I think of it as a sign of victory, a sign of power and a sign of strength.
And most of all, a way of reclaiming my body as my own.
As a child, my body didn’t belong to me.
It belonged to the people who physically and sexually abused me, day after day, night after night.
I don’t get piercings, tattoos or color my hair as a way to rebel against my religious upbringing, but rather, as a way to reclaim my body. It’s my body and I will choose what happens to it.
When I was thinking about where on my body to place this tattoo, I purposely wanted it in my eye sight.
I wanted it in a place where I could see it daily, so I could be constantly reminded of my strength and where other survivors could see it, so they could know that I am safe to tell their story to.
In her song, Lady Gaga sings the lyric, “you wont know, till it happens to you.”
She couldn’t be more on point.
Too often, I find myself needing to explain or defend myself to friends, family and even strangers.
I know that some of you are thinking now, “well then don’t share your story, don’t be open about what you went through.”
But it’s the exact opposite.
If we don’t speak about it, we are just encouraging the “sweep it under the carpet” rational.
If we don’t speak about it, how will people be educated? How will people know?
While speaking about it may cause a couple of people to feel uncomfortable, it can save many in the future, as Meyer Seewald says, “blush for a few minutes, so others don’t have to bleed.”
Every person who goes through childhood sexual violence reacts and is affected in different ways.
Many times, sexual trauma can lead to PTSD, depression, suicide, eating disorders and relationship difficulties.
Please don’t judge us as survivors. We are trying our best and just trying to live normal lives, while being triggered daily by what might seem like the most mundane things.
When you come close to us and we flinch, remember how many times our perpetrator came close to us and hurt us.
Being able to survive doesn’t ever mean that it was okay.
Surviving child sexual abuse, affects the rest of your life.
Let’s take back survivors lives.
Shatter the silence.
Silence is this incredible weapon that protects the perpetrator and imprisons the victim.
Let’s stop the victim shaming and instead empower survivors.
When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, you have the ability to heal yourself and heal someone else.
I am no longer ashamed.
I am a survivor.
#endthesilence #survivornotvictim