Trump Declares Message From ‘Hamilton’ Cast The “Worst Attack On A Politician In The History Of American Theater”
NEW YORK, NY — A day after the Cast of Hamilton addressed Vice-President elect Mike Pence in the audience, Donald Trump has called the incident “the worst attack to a politician in the history of American theater.”
“Not once in this country’s 240 year history has a political leader been so disrespected while going to see a show,” the President-elect wrote in an extended Twitter rant. “This is literally the most treasonous thing to ever happen in a theater.”
“Sad!” he added.
Trump would go on to criticize the tone of the statement, which delivered a message about equality to the Vice President-elect.
“Who gave these people permission to say whatever they want?!” asked Trump. “If there isn’t a law against it, there ought to be.”
“These Hamilton actors are lucky I wasn’t in the audience,” he added, occasionally using all caps for emphasis. “Because I would have used my Presidential power to have them all LOCKED UP! That would have taught them a lesson.”
When a subsequent Twitter comment by former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice informed Trump that the constitution grants no such power, the real estate mogul responded, “But who writes the Constitution, Condi? Last I checked it was THE PRESIDENT. P.S.- I’ll lock you up, too!”
Trump would conclude with a line of attack against Hamilton itself.
“Sad that failing Hamilton is so desperate to sell tickets they attack Mike Pence,” he wrote, apparently unaware of the 11-time Tony Award winner’s runaway commercial success.
“As if pathetic Hamilton wasn’t already in enough financial trouble, now they have a boycott coming from REAL America,” he concluded ominously, despite the fact that Hamilton is sold out thru the end of 2017.
When reached for comment, Mike Pence chastising the show for being “so, so mean.”
“Can’t a guy that once promoted gay conversion therapy just go to a Broadway show without being yelled at?” he asked rhetorically through tears.