I am not that spoiled child anymore
Sometimes in life we take things for granted, and truly miss the meaning of what we have.
“Growing up I was pretty spoiled, I had everything I wanted. I was the youngest in my family, I didn’t have to work. I had no responsibilities. All I did was focused on my studies and having fun. I would have never left Syria if possible, but I am glad I did. I am not that spoiled child anymore. I changed when I came here. I had so many responsibilities. I had to live on my own and do everything myself. It was very hard at the beginning. But now if I look back at myself, I don’t even recognize myself. I became a different person, tougher, more mature and I am so glad for the things I have accomplished here. Here you have to work for what you want.
I graduated in 2013, but there were hardly any job opportunities in Syira. Also, I was wanted for the obligatory military service. I tried to delay my military service, I even changed my date of birth for this. These conditions were so hard, but at the same time I didn’t want to leave Syria, I couldn’t see myself living somewhere else than in my own country. But I had to go. I didn’t know where to go at first. I didn’t want to go to Europe, because I didn’t want to be considered as a refugee there. Two of my best friends were already in Istanbul, so I decided to go to there as well. I was like: I’m gonna get used to this city, it is gonna be alright. I didn’t have an initial plan of what to do. I brought the keys of my house in Syria though, you never know when you are going to need them.
I was a overwhelmed and excited at the same time when I came to this new country. I was gonna meet new people, new friends and I just wanted to have some fun. I wanted to be outside of the house after 12, which was possible in Syria. I wanted to be able to walk around without checkpoints or policemen asking for my ID. This is changing now, since it is happening here as well due to the state of emergency. I am reliving it.
It’s been 2 years. I don’t want to stay here forever, but I’m so glad to live here now though. I worked in a coffee place in order to learn Turkish. I started to understand things by myself and became aware of what I can do. Now I’m a freelancer in digital marketing. I found stability. Even more amazing: I found love here. I have more emotional reasons to stay here, so I have to work harder for opportunities. At the same time, it’s not as easy as it was before. I might end up looking to move to Europe in the near future.
The spoiled child had a dream: to become a filmmaker. In like 5 years I would love to make a documentary. I want to wake up emotions in people.”