The Leaky Rowboat

Ned Lowe
2 min readFeb 15, 2023

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Imagine if you will, a leaky rowboat. There are holes in the hull, with water dripping through. Not a good starting point for crossing choppy water!

The sailors on this second rate ship are scared. They don’t want to drown! So they start sticking their fingers in the holes, and sure enough the water stops dribbling down the walls. A great success.

Unfortunately, there aren’t enough fingers available on our salubrious seamen, and so they invite some friends to join in the breach bunging.

As the newly joined mariners climb on it, their weight displaces more water and the rowboat descends deeper — revealing a fresh set of holes! More sailors join to plug more holes with ever more fingers, until the edge of the ship’s sides is practically at water level.

With such a heavy, packed boat, there is no room for oarsmen. So the captain of the ship decides to attach an expensive motor to the rear, and off the boat goes!

No-one is steering, they’re too busy with fingers in holes.

The boat predictably crashes.

Fix the holes in your boat before adding more people or attaching an expensive motor.

Please no-one point out how my theory violates basic nautical laws/physics. I can barely swim.

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