Tumbler List

I think buckets are too large for 1 person.

Almost hitting the 2 and 6 concatenation, and it’s about time I figured things out for myself.

Recent events in a span of a couple months, as my co-worker puts it, “Life putting more hair on my chest” , made me re-think a bunch of things. Talking to people, opened a larger question that went unheard and unattended for a long time.

WHAT ABOUT ME?

I have, historically, been driven to a goal that I don’t understand completely. Academia, job, relationships — the goal has always been futuristic and never the current moment. I think the only thing I savor is when I’m eating different food. Regular meals don’t even get much attention. Mundane.

I want to change that. Somehow. No clue, though. My friend, psychoanalyzed me and pointed out so many flaws that were hidden or ignored by my own self. I haven’t connected with my own true self for a long time. If I ask myself, why, the guy inside reassures with a false sense of motivation; think about money, success, goals and makes it seem that the struggle I am going through is a hurdle. That gets me, all the time. I listen to that guy more often. Should I? Maybe, not? Should I tell him to shut up? Not completely because he is the driver of the car. I may need to swap him though; still have him in a seat, just not drive.

WHERE DO I START?

Interesting question. But seriously, where do I start? Motivational speeches, books, videos about inspiration / finding your true calling? Done a few of those this past week and still isn’t helping. What do I need to ask myself? Maybe make a list of things that I could do to attain that personal happiness? I guess so. That can be done. I love to list. But will that truly help - I don’t know. I hope it does. For the next 5 years…

1. Travel to at least 10 different countries
2. Learn a musical instrument to a decent level
3. Exercise daily (or maintain a healthy workout regime)
4. Get to a point in my career, by means of learning, where I shouldn’t be challenged by any problem. The idea is to have the aptitude to learn anything. <Insert Harsha Bhogle’s speech to inspire.>
5. Learn to be calm and handle situations better.
6. Live in a different country (not US or India) for at least a month.
7. Read 1 book per month.
8. Write a blog post once every week. Make it a habit to write.
9. Become an author of a book. Pages don’t matter.
10. More public speaking. Talks and or webinars.
11. Help mom buy a house.

Just listing this out here made me smile.