We sat in a over priced, under whelming coffee shop of Adrianna’s choice. There was no awkwardness or tension between us because as an actor sometimes life comes with scripted people with scripted intentions. I knew she never cared about this dumb restaurant, she just wanted to act like she had fine taste. I knew she would tell me a certain vague time then come an hour before the restaurant was about to shut down. I knew she had no explanation for being so late or needed to give me one being she looked literally like she didn’t make any effort to even take a shower.
I knew we were not sitting there for me and it didn’t even matter if I was there or not.
Adrianna had come to a point in her ego that she forgot what she was manipulating contacts for. I disappeared from time to time in my head while she rambled on about herself, if she started to get angry at this trick I would simply try to talk about myself. That would immediately get her distracted on cue.
She twirled her messy hair and shot glances at me I could only ignore thanks to her thick frames. Her so called signature “nerd chick” look reeked of fake attention seeking sympathy, that was her best defense at me if needed. The uprising star of the new film industry in Pakistan not marrying the “awam” or normal girl.
But we were never really going out. I was the one who was fooled here, but no one will look at that because of my status quo or looks. If they did it also could be damaging to a rep that subconsciously follows a class system. I made a mistake of showing that might be a little desperate for love to a person who branded herself as a victim. The Kasur story gave her a platform to fake molestations sagas online, I only say this after five months of connecting her stories together and mannerisms. And i only say this as someone who was abused himself, you can’t always spot a liar but you can tell who is exaggerating and milking their past.
The only way out was my own downfall. I had to be the bad guy to get rid of her.
After the games had been played here I sat drained of energy and she just pushed more the further I drifted off. People sometimes know their scripts sometimes they don’t realize the big script of life. But I had to stop ignoring my own.
“Are you ready to write my story? Or were you lying about that as well?” I cut her off.
After a deep sigh you think this is the part she reveals her mask. She suddenly said “Tell me more about your new project, sorry I was rambling on again” the last part was a trick I taught her.
This is the part that wouldn’t be told on social media or to anyone. Fake feminists adore my eyebrow arch more than my dating choices. Real feminists were waiting to call me out for my hidden machoism and narcism. They thought I was fully enjoying this act of being this kind of down to earth hero, nope. After the first one million Instagram followers, it truly sucked.
“I am a bad person Jacob?” she whimpered in between trying to catch my gaze.
Oh dear lord…just shoot me now.
I slammed my hand on the table, no one jumped but her.
“I will give you whatever you need, the outburst I will fake will make me look bad. You will get sympathy from others who secretly dislike me. You will be pitied so much you can make a tumblr page out of all it”
I started to feel myself getting emotional, I had to pause to stop myself. You cannot give a predator any emotions.
“You see how no one looked my way right now? notice how you purposely came late to dodge? I paid this shitty place off. And those waiters back there are not your usual staff, if I want they will get paid to have a good time you.”
I wish that was a bluff on my end.
“You wanna play the poor rape victim card? Il play the dominating asshole and then dispose off you in a timely manner. I have my ticket to Dubai on standby. ”
I had to stop, it felt too good. It won’t after five minutes when my humanity seeps back through.
“Here see for yourself, the note is ready to be posted on Facebook”. She started to bash her own phone with her fingers. I received an email notification in a timely fashion for once.
I motioned the waiters to escort the fake staff away and turn on the cameras and hidden microphones, well not so hidden now since they had to be manually turned on. Everything was now to be recorded for her boost not mine, here came my career killer.
“You ugly lying bitch! Im too good for you anyway! I know you used me! I will tell the world about you! I screamed out loud. She on cue begged and cried.
“I can’t tolerate this modern day feminism bull, you either be attractive or be rich hell at least pay the bills! I’m out of this!” I then walked out and left her there to sob.
In the world of social media, I basically debunked myself as and now will be seen as a self righteous wannabe. She will be loved and I will have to go back to soap operas that do not pay on time or well.
Why was this ending a resolution for me? Why did she have to type all of this out? We can present out flaws to the world now however we choose to. But we selectively hide behind them and use them to hurt others or take shortcuts.
Its so hard in this day in age to realize that sometimes desperation is not well hidden, your vulnerability seeps through and you will attract the wrong people. Sometimes its ok to realize you are in the wrong, I shouldn’t be desperate nor should i be cold. I need the power to be able to wait for once in my life for what is right for me, with rejections and mockeries along the way.
No matter who we are, everyone is a little insecure at the end of it all. The last line is something you all should understand. Trust me, it was in an army funded movie and my friends cheered me on when my character yelled it.