If your social life stinks and you feel lonely, go and fix it! Be accountable!

Taking action is hard, but you what? Enduring a bad situation can be its own hell.
Whoopi Goldberg.
Becoming the nice person who everybody calls to invite out at least three times a week doesn’t happened by simple chance or because you are good looking.
I love a quote of Oscar Wilde about success that says “Success is a science; if you have the condition you get the result”.
Evidently being successful in your friendship life is not a gift from heaven that comes wrapped in the form of a gentle breeze one morning when you open your or on a Sunday morning, obviously not. As every discipline there is the know-how of this field that you need to understand and integrate in order to put into practice and then achieve the comradeship you want.
It is funny how many of us sit down on the couch of our homes on a Saturday night feeling lonely and depressed because we don’t have the exciting social interaction we would love to. This is laughable because only you have the power to tap into the amazing number of social activities your city offers to start meeting new friends. There is no excuse because there are thousands of new groups that are out there completely open to welcome people who love reading, writing, singing, dancing, playing any type of sports, reading poetry, smocking, bird watching, cooking etcetera, in short, from the most normal activity to the weirdest and most eccentric thing possible
However, this issue for me is similar to being overweight. People know exactly the dos and the don’ts are but they just do nothing.
But the absurdist thing ever is to attribute hard work to academic and work success and not to romance and friendship.
There are some things that I am so fortunate to have learnt because that has literally made my social life increase significantly. Some months ago I thought there was a lucky group of people who were destined to have incredible friends and connections and the rest of us were condemned to isolation and despair, however, I fortunately discovered that we can create the exact type of social life we want. Evidently, there is time to invest in the learning process and some effort to make in order to reprogram yourself and thus act differently, in other words the goal is to orient your energy towards the accomplishment of the social life so longed.
This is simple but not easy as it requires a mind shift. The key to successful human interaction relies on being completely selfless.
It is not a secret that charismatic people have the magic power to attract people because they are human magnets and here is the key: Charisma isn’t something you have. It’s something you earn.
Once you have joined a group or some groups of interest the next step is to make your network of friends grow and there are things that you will have to do in order to build stable friendships and add new people.
There is a list of characteristics that charismatic people possess that I find useful and interesting because it targets the core of human relations and as I mentioned before it is based on complete unselfishness
CHARISMATIC PEOPLE
· Listen way more than they talk. They always remember it is not about them but about the human being they have in front.
· Don’t practice selective listening. Remarkable charismatic people listen to everyone regardless of social position or social status because they know we are all people.
· Put their stuff away. They give their full attention to people.
· Give before they receive. Giving is the only way to establish real connection and friendship. The amazing thing is that they never think about what they can get in return.
· Don’t act self- important. The only people who get impressed by pretentiousness are pretentious people because the rest hate when this type of people walk into a room
· Shine the spotlight on others. They know that their job is to find what people do right and praise them.
· Choose their words to impact the attitude of others
· Never discuss the failing of others. Speaking ill of others will make the people who are listening to you relate yourself to those negative adjectives you are using to describe others. Ironically if you praise people you will be related to the flattering words you articulate
· Charismatic people always admit their failings. They are humble to admit their mistakes and laugh at themselves. If you start doing this people will be able to relate themselves to you.
Let’s take action. How do we expect to see things change in our lives if are doing the same things?
Watch this video of one of the most influential American behavioral investigators and national best-selling author. She is also a corporate speaker and body language trainer specializing in science-based people skills
