Is beauty in the eye of the beholder?

Neffer Mustiola
4 min readJul 9, 2017

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Beauty is in the belief of the performer.

Charm and charisma is much more powerful that looks

In 1996 I attended a workshop of leadership that lasted around 6 weekends.

The speakers were amazing people who had so many interesting stories and experiences to share with all the participants. The fourth weekend I remember very clearly the instructors announced we had a new teacher who had just finished his master degree in management and consultancy in the University of Loma Linda and he was going to cooperate with the seminar of oratory that was a very important part of the entire course.

Right now, I can close my eyes and I can vividly recall the scene as if it was happening in front of my eyes. In fact, it is a memory that has accompanied me for many years and every time I think of it, it gives me chills to see how things can turn around in such an unexpected way.

The new teacher was standing next to the white board when he was introduced to all the group and I just remember that my first impression about him was an ugly toothy nerd whose life was confined to loneliness. I felt uncomfortable by his presence because I thought his lecture was going to be boring and fruitless. Nevertheless, against all the odds my mind dictated I found myself caught in an incredible spell that nobody has been able break up to now.

This man is an incredible orator, with a sharp memory who knew how to take the audience breath away every time he spoke. After this first encounter, I did not know how to get him off my head, soon after, my admiration towards him became love and then I was completely obsessed by the nerd . By the way, this didn’t happen only to me but to most ladies who met him

His inner beauty, his intelligence and the fact of being a people person were key factors that determined his success in all what he did. We became good friends and then he was kind of a mentor to me. Funnily enough, once he dared to tell me that he knew he was an unattractive gay but he didn’t care whatsoever because that had never prevented him from having what he wanted.

Another funny story is about Ed Sheeran who is one of my favorite singers. He has openly admitted how ugly he considers himself and some people do agree with this but his personality and talent have gained the heart of so many fans. Everybody says he has something that makes it just impossible not to like him and be charmed by his friendliness and inner seductiveness.

What is beauty and is it important or not?

Once a friend of mine told me that it was a complete lie to deny to power of beauty in our society. He told me that if he was given the choice to recruit a new female employee for his company and he had two candidates with the same age, same experience, same education and the same competences why would he hire the least beautiful if he had the chance to hire the most beautiful one.

And I think he was completely right. But at the same time I thought of the factors that determine a person being good looking . Is it the make up? Is it weight? Is it the outfit? Is it the hydration of her skin and the shininess of her hair? Is the attitude?

Undoubtedly, I am talking about average people not some Hollywood actors whose beauty sometimes seem to be from another world.

I think I have part of the answer. Sometimes when I observe people in the subway I can easily identify what is stopping the person to look better and in most of the cases, I have realized that it can happen due to poor hygiene, wrong clothing, overweight and skin problems, consequently, if that is true what is probably preventing us from looking the best we can, could be our lack of self-awareness, laziness or low self esteem.

Beauty can be defined as the materialization of love we have to ourselves.

Beauty is the tangible reflection of the love we have to ourselves.

The care we give to our neck up will be reflected upon all our body. In other words, if we have a great mental hygiene and we love ourselves, that will undeniably shine through and we will incarnate the best version of ourselves.

“Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman.”
Coco Chanel

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you are the beholder” - Salma Hayek

Thank you for reading this text,

Blessings,

Neffer Mustiola

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Neffer Mustiola

I am an entrepreneur , a coach and a teacher. I have been living in Paris for five years and I am a very curious person who loves to explore new things.