Life is worth it
Two stories, the same person and a lesson to be learnt.
The first story
In 2007 the youth of the church decided to make a trip to Las Cuevas del Guacharo located 12 km from Caripe, Monagas, Venezuela. This amazing cave had always been one of the favorite spots of young people to visit when there is a holiday. The place welcomes visitors who have a spirit of adventure, willing to crawl in the mud as a worm to move from one section of the cave to the other. At times, it can get really difficult to walk because there is simply not enough space for a body to stand up. But it is worth the journey because the spectacular rock formation and the entire ecosystem that coexist in the different chambers of the place makes the expedition of 4 hours marvelous and breathe taking. After all the acrobatics to advance and overcome the obstacles, the cave offers to the visitors the amazing prize of a huge waterfall at the summit of a very astounding and impressive rock of several meters high. Once we were there people rushed to climb up the rock and after some minutes we arrived to this incredible natural swimming pool where we could swim or get a massage by the waterfall. It took us a lot of time on top of the rock because we were just astonished by the sightseeing and overwhelmed by the scene. After almost an hour we decided to go back because the sun was going to set soon, so the voice of the guide said it’s time to go and obediently people started to carefully descend in a single file in order not to be pulled down by the water current. However, I decided, very stupidly, to take the right side of the rock which was completely empty in order to arrive faster to the bottom but I was caught unprepared because as soon as I sat down to move downwards very slowly I felt the huge inclination of the rock and how gravity, my weigh and the fine line of water drifting conspired against me pushing me downwards as fast as they could. I couldn’t control my body and in free motion I took off as a bird taking flight when I was half way down and in some micro seconds I landed on a fallen tree trunk with my legs widely opened as If I was going to ride a horse. I was numbed, confused and embarrassed. At that moment I couldn’t believe I was still alive, still breathing. When I tried to move I was afraid not to be able to walk but to my surprise I was almost perfect and capable of standing up. People were so scared because they thought I had died but miraculously nothing bad happened. The men from my group said that I was lucky to be a woman otherwise I would have lost my testicles for the way I landed and the daughter of the pastor told me that I had survived harmless because I had a mission in life. Every time I think about this I get goose bumps imagining all the things what could have happened to me.
The second story
One Saturday night I was invited to a very promising party in the Southwest of Caracas. I arrived almost at ten and the environment was just amazing. I started dancing and drinking beers very happily. After two hours things started to change and I felt there was something wrong. To my left there were two guys dancing with guns in their hands and since nobody looked impressed by this fact I very foolishly thought It was something normal or probably all what I was seeing was due to all the alcohol I had in my blood stream. Some minutes after things turned very grim. It turned out that some gangsters broke into the party and there were some shootings. In a fraction of seconds I tried to put my ideas together and quickly decided to protect myself, therefore, I ran as fast as I could to the furthest room, away from the living room where the party was taking place. When I got in I realized there was no door, only a thick curtain which I closed and then I sat on the bed waiting for everything to calm but to my surprise the entire crowd did the same thing and they jumped on top of me frantic and screaming. If I remember well there were around forty people sitting, laying and knelt on top of my body. To make things worse one of the mobsters decided to hide in the same room and the second gunfire took place exactly in the same room where I was. The place was dark and people were blocking my sight. After some minutes there was a long silence, and then women started to sob and scream he is dead. Still unable to see anything I heard a voice saying that the bad guys had fled and all the people who were crushing me left the room. It was so striking to see this young man cover on blood lifeless when I left the room.
I wished I could tell you that after these two events I started to value life and I had this extraordinary insight; that I lived life intensively and treated my family and friends better. I wished I could remember myself being a better employee and valuing every second of life. I wished I could have decided to stop worrying for so many stupid things. I wished I could have remembered how short the time in this planet is and hence, my determination to love more myself and stop begging for love. I wished I could have decided after any of these occurrences how I hit the gas pedal and made my dreams come true faster. I wished I could have had the determination to be more honest to myself and start living from my passion. But unfortunately I didn’t.
It was so ironic how I still took things for granted for so many years, carrying a heavy burden on my shoulders of guilt and shame; living life as If I didn’t merit being happy; letting bitterness take over and the worse thing among all was: the insane determination to kill time instead of investing it. I still regret but I have understood something: there is nothing I can do with my past mistakes and all the tears shed; all the suffering and the time I wasted for illogic reasons. The only thing I have control over is my present.
Funnily enough, I found reconciliation with my inner world and the external world not through disgrace, pain, tragedy or heartbreaks but in the quietness, loneliness and nothingness of hours of contemplation, meditation and the total immersion in the bizarreness of French society. I don’t have a specific date that marks the beginning of my new way of being but my truth is that I have decided to take control over my present in order not to have regrets in the future. I would rather be recalled by what I dared to do instead of only having the intentions to be better; My motto of life is to become somebody who works to have a life full of passion and meaning; I have determined myself to make things my way always taking into consideration that I don’t have to be like others since I am unique. I am engaged in taking advantage of time and, if it is possible, redeeming the precious time I once wasted.
Life is too short to waste it. Let’s make it count every day bringing meaning to our existence.