Drowned : I call this Identity crisis

Stirred by the perfect people having perfect jobs, perfectly surrounded with happiness around, Perfect people with perfect vocabulary, with perfect eclectic choices, with perfect boyfriends I find this precision blurring. My wandering mind has gone astray in this ocean of meticulousness and cannot outline the boundaries anymore.

I am at the assembly phase of life, where every bit of data seems information or knowledge to me. This only leads to severe discontentment, as one is not able to decipher on what interests the individual holds for themselves. I read a self help book recently that says one discovers themselves by disconnecting from people, things and money. But then what are we here for??

A thinking mind has huge potential. An idle thinking mind can draw one to an asylum whereas a productive thinking mind can turn them into Bill Gates. Incidentally, en route to productivity, most of us get misled.

The most distracting trait is the desire to be at all age levels at the same time. I am a perfect example of the same. I see a baby being loved by the mother; I want to be the baby and the mother both at the same time. I want to be cared for and be the caring one myself. I see an old woman walking in the park enjoying the fresh air; I want to be the old woman and the fresh air she’s enjoying. I see a cat chasing a mouse; I want the thrill of being chased and the superiority of being the big one.

Yesterday I heard this most amazing song by Billy Joel “She’s always a woman to me “. It perfectly outlines how woman can be or want to be everything at the same time. They can be mean but they will love .They can bruise, but they will help heal, etc

It’s just a “thinking” phase of my life, where everything around seems beautiful and evil at the same time and I am just trying to figure out what my real perspective is, as I can see them both.