Neha Malik
Aug 9, 2017 · 2 min read

ARE WE HOSTAGES OF OUR PAST AND TO OUR HIDDEN ANXIETIES? OR CAN WE LEARN TO UNDERSTAND OUR PSYCHE AND BE TRUE MASTERS OF OUR MINDS?

All that is my body, this cannot be everywhere, all places around the world, it is not ever present.

My mind, this mind wonders all my lived decades. My mind is walking in the past, my mind is wondering into the future. My mind is absorbed in ‘this person’ and ‘that person’, and even ‘those people’ whom I do not even know.

We struggle desperately to escape the mind running in time.

The broker, the negotiator the conciliator are other names that could describe my mind.

My mind controls me, I struggle to master it.

My parents, the society around me, the failings, the falls are all forcing their. own reality in my mind.

The consequence – unhappiness.

When I self diagnose the source of my unhappiness, it is on a grand scale.

“Life as we find it is too hard for us, it brings us so many pains, so many disappointments, and impossible tasks. Were threatened in life with suffering in three directions: one is the body, which is doomed to decay.., from the external world which may rage against us with overwhelming and merciless force of destruction, and finally, the external world, from our relations with other people…This last source is perhaps more painful to us than any other” – Sigmund Freud, Civilization and its Discontents.

It’s this third kind of suffering that is no less than suffering that comes from elsewhere. Why can’t we admit the pain from others is the real profound impact that sits subliminally ever present in our minds. These once lived stories replay themselves. forever in our mind, in our lives. We sometimes aren’t even aware of this, as we supress this so far below the surface of our lives that it just sits there dormant, but slowly bubbling away to fester and grow.

Our own minds are working against us, mostly due to the nature of the world around us. The forces of the outside world; the race we are running to nowhere, the painted faces we must put on, the inability to be our true selves, this adds the fuel to the ruthless cancer of the past sitting in the pit of our bellies.

We need to come to the realisation of these source unhappiness; the disappointments, the pain caused by our most intimate interactions.

The answer is to stop inflicting pain, admit it to ourselves, to confront ourselves with ourselves. We need to make peace with our own psychical constitution, not to escape the mind completely but to relive ourselves and really LET GO.

“One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.” – Sigmund Freud.

Neha Malik

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My journal for deeper self discovery. For the girl that wants it all...

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