Vagary

Vagary

(noun; a wandering journey)



You come visit me sometimes. Random bursts and long stays, but the trips are never planned.



Sometimes, you come visit me in the dark of the night and coax me to stay awake. You lurk in the shadows, showing yourself, but not entirely. Other times, you visit me in the light of the day - alone, or in the presence of company. Your visits are a break from the everyday monotony. Sometimes you visit me through others and I’m still awestruck, still enamored by you. You never fail to amaze me.



And always, you come in waves. At times, they are huge, engulfing me and leaving me drenched. You come with such force that I can do nothing but pursue you. At those times, you seduce me with all you have. Other times, the waves are softer - crashing against the shores and reaching me slowly, but surely. At these times, you come with lesser force and I am drawn only for a fleeting moment or two. And yet, these fleeting moments that you use to lure me into, I cherish the most. So, when time goes by, I am filled with regret that I did not pursue you. And there are times I wonder, as an afterthought from your visit, of what could have been. It is almost always I realise that "whatever could have been" , would have been amazing, had I pursued you.



But my wanting and my regrets amount to nothing, for you come of your own will. You come and go as you please. Sometimes, you stay with me until the very end, and sometimes, you leave me right in the middle. You leave me stranded like a nomad lost in the desert. You leave me yearning for you again. It’s almost as though you are my forbidden lover. I never know when you will come and how long you will stay. I never know when you will strike. When it comes to you, I am even less sure of the already uncertain future.



It seems as though hide and seek is your favorite game, and maze, your favorite ploy.

You seem all too close, and yet too far.













Oh, creativity, you haunt me so.