Logic and Emotion
When “being logical” won’t work
We construct our social worlds. Because of this, people can witness the same event yet give varying interpretations of what took place.
For example
Last night, I planned to approach a girl and ask her out. We were at a mixing event. I could have easily approached her and struck up a conversation.
But I didn’t.
Looking back, I wasn’t in a social mood. Since then, my hopes about dating the girl have plummeted. The whole situation irks me. I’m frustrated with myself and, in a completely non-sensical way, frustrated with her (jealously, maybe?).
A friend pointed out my illogical framing of the situation and I concurred. I was thinking irrationally. In reality, I could still ask her out, despite my perceived faux pas. Yet I still felt bad about it even though it was illogical to feel bad.
Recognizing the illogical inconsistencies of my social construction did not dampen my emotional upset.
It doesn’t work
For one thing, it’s easier to clearly see the lives of others than it is to see our own lives. I can quickly point out what others ought to do, but my own (perhaps simpler) life still remains fuzzy to me. Even as a psychology major, mastering my own life remains infinitely harder than orchestrating someone else’s.
So, what’s straightforward to outside observers is murky to subjective experiencers.
The advice to “be logical” when overwhelmed with emotions is misguided. It doesn’t work. Overwhelmed with feelings, sorting through your own life (which is already unclear to you), and trying to be logical is like trying to watch a video filmed while someone was shaking, without your contacts in, and while you’re also being shaken. You can try, but nothing good is going to come of it.
The best thing — and most logical thing — to do when overwhelmed with emotion is to
Realize that you’re overwhelmed with emotion then choose not to be logical
The most logical choice someone overwhelmed with emotion can make is to not try to be logical. If you try to be logical while overly emotional, how you feel will be the premise for your logical argument. You then logically take those feelings and reach conclusions. That’s not the kind of emotion-free reasoning people are suggesting when they say “Be logical.”
Instead, make the (logical) choice not to try logic when you’re emotionally overwhelmed. Instead, let yourself feel and let time pass. When you’re in a cool-headed state again, then — if desired — approach the problem logically.
“I’m too upset to think straight right now. I’ll use logic to realize that now isn’t a good time to try to be logical.”
Trying to be logical while in emotional pain can make the pain worse than it already is. Using faulty emotional logic will lead you to believe that you are being logical, which would only serve to strengthen your belief in your irrational views. Instead, use logic to know when logic won’t work.
Cheers
P.S.
Since writing this article, I’ve learned of the refractory period. According to Paul Ekman (author of Emotions Revealed), the refractory period is when, once fully emotional, one only thinks and seeks information that is congruent with the emotion. For example, if someone is upset over poor performance, said person will only search out evidence which confirms the feeling and will refute any evidence to the contrary.
This principle fits nicely with what I’ve discussed since, granted, one can technically be logical (conclusions follow premises) while simultaneously overcome with emotion, it’s just that the whole ordeal will be laced with emotional reasoning (using feelings, perhaps subconsciously, as premises). As I said in this article, use logic, when emotional, to make the logical choice to not try to be logical.