You’re No Inbox Zero Hero

@anon “Success! Reached #InboxZero #humblebrag”

@anon “After 2 12 hr nights and a rigorous cleanse I’m back to #InBoxZero”

@anon “It feels great being able to get my inbox down to zero.”

I was hoping it was a passing fad, yet more and more people are declaring “war” on their inboxes and then shouting when they achieve victory.

Bizarrely, this is especially popular in the world of startups and tech, in which the focus is typically on getting things done, achieving something tangible and using quality metrics.

We talk a lot about the importance of looking beyond vanity metrics, but “achieving” (and I use that word in the lightest possible sense) inbox zero is the biggest vanity metric of all.

It means NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

With email, the achievement is not in reaching zero, but rather in determining which ones need replying to in the immediate future and which ones do you need to come back to reply to when you have time.

I have nearly 2000 “unread” emails in my inbox, but the fact is they are not unread.

Reading emails is like when you meet new people for the first time: You make instant judgements and can often make your mind up within thirty seconds.

Either using notifications or allocating a specific time to quickly glance over my emails allows me to judge whether they are:

A) Worthy of opening

B) Worthy of reading

C) Worthy of a reply

Basking in the “glory”

Anyway, what happens after you hit inbox zero?

All these people to whom you’ve just responded are going to reply back!

And even disregarding that, the fact is that in five minutes you are going to receive a promotional email from Pizza Hut or another service that you have forgotten to unsubscribe from.

Are you now going to be a slave to your inbox and deal with every email as it comes in so you can continue to bask in the glory of inbox zero? No,of course not.

So, what, that couple of hours you spent doing this task resulted in an upside of five minutes?

And you think that this is worth telling all your Twitter followers?

“Well, congratulations on achieving absolutely nothing. You sir, are truly a hero.”

For as tweets as equally as banal as ones on Inbox Zero, you can find me on Twitter @neilswmurray.

If you are also sick of Inbox Zero Heroes, then hit the recommend button.