So I hit a wall on the 6th day
And no, I wasn’t texting while driving. I’m pretty stressed out. Not because I’m worried my fortunes are slipping through my fingers, I know I’ll be just fine. My patience is being tested as I wait for these companies in Atlanta to review my applications. It feels rudimentary. Shouting, “Hey pick me!” for a paycheck and a sliver of joy on the weekends.
I feel… foolish. I’m a talented writer. I want to be paying myself.
Job searches aren’t built the same anymore. Especially when I know if I had a friend who could put in a good word for me, I’d be hired already. A five-minute scan of my LinkedIn connections later, and well yeah, I’m still anxious.
Cue meditating to change my vibration.
Only for today, it feels like my dream job is never going to show up. Or I’m going to be on the brink of poverty before it does. (My imagination can get pretty intense when my patience wears thin) Relaxing is such a foreign concept to me. Trusting in the Source to materialize my wildest desires and then some is a new concept. A few weeks old at best.
I have shoes older than my new belief system. Innerstand?
Blah. Instead of harping on my job woes, I turned my thoughts to my physical well being. What happens sometimes is I get so pained with fear my body starts to wear the damage. It’s not fair to my lovely frame. Since today’s meditation time was office based, I listened to my breath while my thoughts centered on loving my body and giving it attention. I kept reminding myself thoughts become things. I had to let fear go.
So I imagined myself walking through the doors of some posh building in downtown Atlanta and, honey, I look like an entire Pinterest board. Beauty, style, energy all aligned, and fab-u-lous. My colleagues stare or smile as I walk toward my desk. Clock in? What’s that? I’m on a handsome salary. Finally I give my biggest grin as I imagine writing all day, and getting paid crazy amounts of money for my sarcasm.
Me, a professional writer. My dreams coming true tenfold.
Quick tip: it’s okay if every time you meditate you don’t reach thoughtlessness. The point is to feel good. Most days I can shut everything up and feel myself floating. Other days I have to fight my own doubts. But this is why I chose to meditate everyday, to become better at it.
I’m leaving work now to go do at-home workouts to Drake and Beyonce, because moving-to-hotlanta. And I won’t let myself worry about a job search. I am confident something more fabulous than my visualizations is being prepared.
After all, the universe loves on those who love themselves.