Out of Place
Ever felt stuck? Like you don’t belong? It’s not loneliness because you have people who love you in your life but, it is at the same time because those people will never understand how you work?
To me, “feeling out of place” is like looking around the room to see everyone smiling and laughing and maybe even dancing, while you are in the middle of it, unable to be heard, unable to be like them. I used to go to a church and I stopped because the people I had to surround myself with did not get my perspective of life. I tried searching for other churches and when I found one those people did not let me in. I go to school which when I am there, feels like everyone is against me.
Maybe it’s just me, it’s just a feeling, it’s all in my head. Feeling stuck sucks. It feels like you were born in the wrong time or wrong place and can’t press the “start over” button. This is not the point of this post, I do not want your pity, I have always struggle with this sense of loneliness in me, I never felt like I have belonged; even in my “friend” group. I want you, the reader, to relate; to feel the feelings I put into this post. I’m trying to reach to your heart will you let me?
This is where the comeback comes in. God doesn’t ever leave you alone. Us humans need relationships with each other to survive. That’s why we are surrounded with people always. I had to accept the fact that I will never find that perfect friend, humans are screw ups, but that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve the chance to be in your life.
What’s the point of this post? Key word; try and then try again. Never stop searching for people who will love you. You don’t have to walk this life alone. Reach out, go exploring for “friends”, share your story and maybe someone will reach out to you. Keep trying for friendships, keep fighting for relationships, people need other people even when it hurts.
You will never find the perfect set of friends who understand you but, you can damn sure find some pretty cool friends to share life with. Perhaps you have to have a little bit of hope to believe that beauty can be found, to believe that life comes back. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living breathing screaming invitation to believe better things.
I don’t know your story or your dreams nor the things that steal your sleep, but I know they matter. I hope your story is rich with characters, rich with friends and conversation. I hope you know some people who will carry you, and I hope you have the honor or carrying them. I hope you there is someone who will talk you through the night and remind you of the promise of sunshine, that beauty keeps coming, that friendships is true and real, that there are futures worth waiting for and you were made to dream.