Happiness

The day I discovered how important happiness is was one of the most traumatizing moments of my life. My boyfriend of three years broke up with me. He said he had grown increasingly unhappy in our relationship and he wanted to end it before we hate each other. He had done what I was too afraid to do. I don’t know why things had to turn out the way it did, I still feel like life is unfair and why was I dealt the cards of a breakup when so many other people in the world can have a happily ever after with their one true love at first try. I was unhappy in the relationship too but I wanted to keep trying, I didn’t want to fail. But then again, is fighting every time we see each other a success? It’s like holding onto stocks, you’ve invested and even as it plummets, you hold on with the hope that one day, it will rise again. But at what cost? My ex obviously felt it wasn’t worth it anymore. It would be more fortuitous to ditch it, and start over from scratch. But as this sequence of events played out, I started to wonder what was important in life. During the last months of our relationship, I kept pointing out our flaws, and our incompatibilities, hoping that if he knew what I was feeling, he will change into the person I want him to become. He didn’t become the person I wanted, he changed a bit but he still didn’t come close. He was trying, but he was failing and he couldn’t make me happy. He also grew unhappy himself. But with three years of history, we still love each other. Now I vow, that when I love someone, I will always keep their happiness in mind. I will never be so selfish to ruin someone else’s happiness to feed my own needs. I can’t believe I caused so much unhappiness in someone so dear to me, I don’t want it to happen again.

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