My Journey Reading 55 Books in 2023
“Books are the plane, and the train, and the road. They are the destination, and the journey. They are home.” — Anna Quindlen
“Reading furnishes the mind only with materials of knowledge; it is thinking that makes what we read ours.” ― John Locke
Staying in the Game
Right off the bat, I normally start off a new year by opening a new tab in my notes app and scripting my resolutions for the year, everything I desire to achieve before that year ends. While scripting down these resolutions, I try and make sure they are bold enough.
Ideally, this is how the year progress bar looks like, when you are drafting your New Year resolutions. At exactly 0%.
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ 0%
But this is how the year progress bar will look like, soon enough, when the year ends. At exactly 100%.
▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ 100%
Now I want to pose that question back to you, Phillip DeFranco style, how much have you been able to achieve, up until now, when the year is about to end?
Hold on, Don’t Quit
I once came across a certain post while scrolling on the internet that left me amused. In the United States, each year, “exercising more” is the top New Year’s resolution, followed by “eating healthier” and “losing weight.” Year in and year out, Google search interest in “gym” peaks in January before retreating for 10 months.
James Clear, the author of #1 New York Times bestseller Atomic Habits, has studied habit development more than most, and in this blog post he mentions that it takes approximately 66 days for a new habit to form. I will let that sink for a minute. Did you hear that? (In fact, I highly recommend that you find time to read that blog post)
“Success is the product of daily habits — not once-in-a-lifetime transformations.” — James Clear
What I came to understand is that most New Year’s resolutions fail because many a times we struggle to choose the resolution over its alternatives long enough for the habit to actually stick. If you actually want resolutions to come to fruition, try flipping the process around. Instead of applying brute force to your resolutions, ensure that your resolutions happen to you.
Nevertheless, no matter the discipline, most people quit. It has been proven, 92% of New Year’s resolutions don’t make it a full year. Success looks like a series of sprints, but it’s really a marathon. The inputs are a constant grind, but the outputs come in explosive bursts, all at once.
Most people will quit along the way, so staying in the game is the best edge that we have.
We think progress should be linear. If I work out five times per week, I should get 2% stronger each month. If I publish a newsletter every Monday and Thursday, I should gain 100+ subscribers each week. As you know from your own life, this just isn’t the case, as such. Usually, at some point, your progress will appear to plateau. You were making impressive strides for weeks, and then you hit a wall. You keep grinding, but you don’t see yourself improving.
Life certainly seems to conspire against us when we want to make positive changes, doesn’t it? But that’s not the case, trust me!
This is because nothing is linear, even in your progress you’ll witness a plateau. Same case when we try to accomplish our New Year Resolutions.
We want success to be a straight line, but that’s not how life works.
Progress is a constant cycle of immense growth and prolonged plateaus.
If success is the end goal, plateaus are the cost of admission. Embrace it.
Willpower is Energy Supply
In another blog post, Ray Williams explains that willpower is the driving force that aids us in achieving our goals in life. Albeit, many people assume willpower is a character trait that you’re either born with, or innately lack. Research suggests that it is more complex: It can be trained, but it also relies on energy and can become depleted if overused. “Just like a muscle, the amount of willpower you have at any given time rises and falls, and if you exercise it, it gets stronger,” says social psychologist Roy Baumeister, the Francis Eppes Professor at Florida State University. He has spent years studying how people regulate emotions, resist temptation, break bad habits, and perform up to their potential — and why they often fail to do so.
In his book, Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, which he co-authored by John Tierney, Roy Baumeister concludes that each person’s supply of willpower is limited. And, as the ‘power’ aspect of willpower implies, it’s a form of energy, right? So, it gets depleted when you use it. So basically, in a nutshell, the idea of sticking to your New Year resolutions all along the year co-relates, and is proportional to the energy supply you apply towards accomplishing your goals.
Willpower can be depleted so nurture it!
One Step at a Time
So back to the books. When I was starting the year, I had a section in my new year resolutions titled — book club odyssey. In this section, I had these words etched in times new roman font, “Read at least 50 books before the year ends”. To me, having a section in my new year resolutions that monitors my book reading progress is sort of my motivation, especially having read 67 books in the previous year. Yes, you heard that right!
At this point, I’ve made it a habit to document my book reading journey in writings and publishing it in my personal blog, for the world to see. To me writing is something intrinsic. Writing is my muse. I find clarity in writing, whenever I write I get soaked into my inner mind of rationality and creativity, there is something special about it.
Allow me to explain a little bit. Let’s get into this rabbit hole together, shall we?
Writing is Thinking
Then you go back and read the whole thing, and it sounds awful. “No one would want to read this,” you tell yourself. “I’m rambling. Incoherent.”, so, you revise it. You chop out the unnecessary fluff. You rearrange different sections so the narrative is cohesive. You sleep on it. You reread it in the morning. Then you realize two things
“Damn, this is unrecognizable from my original thoughts,” & “Damn, this is pretty good.”
And you never would have reached this clarity of thought if you hadn’t sat down to write.
The writing process is always frustrating and painful and at times mind-numbing before it becomes transformative, beautiful, and illuminating. That’s a feature, not a flaw. Writing isn’t like a Ford assembly line, where the “creating” process is merely a means to produce a final product, and efficiency should be maximized above all else.
Writing is both incredible and incredibly frustrating, because only by putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) can you realize just how little you know about something. Which in turn is the best way to learn more about that thing.
Writing is thinking.
When you outsource writing to AI for the sake of speed, you sacrifice the development of your own thoughts and the exploration of your own opinions.
It’s through writing that I get to share my thought process, ideas and creativity with the world.
For me, writing is not what I do, it’s who I am.
Finding the Serendipity Vehicle
Ideally, “Serendipity Vehicle” means having a good luck in making unexpected and fortunate discoveries. One of my best books of all times is called Show Your Work by Austin Kleon, I came across this book while watching Ali Abdaal’s video on YouTube, I’m pretty sure some of you know this productivity guru. It’s a small book but has lots of take-aways on the importance of leveraging our creativity and just putting something out on the internet.
What’s is interesting about having a blog, or any sort of a personal daily project is that you get to find out that it’s not that you have something to say, is that you find out what you have to say. Like writing every day, some people might say, you must have a lot to say because you write every day. But, it’s actually the opposite, I have more to say because I sit down every day and figure out what to say.
When you create and share an idea into the internet — be it a blog, YouTube, podcast, music, art, photography, cinematography — It means little “robots” can basically carry your content/idea all around the world and then there’s people who will be sitting in their couch from let’s say Malaysia, to Mauritius, Algeria, LA , California or anywhere — who are scrolling the internet and want to learn whatever it is that you’ve created about.
What’s amazing is that, you create once, then these “robots” works for you for a lifetime. It’s like YouTube, you upload a video and the algorithm recommends your video to a much broader audience. And luckily, serendipity happens, you get to know new people, connect with new people, building a huge audience, get projects, make money, basically anything that can help you grow productively. This is called “serendipity vehicle” — when you put your ideas into the world, you get to build those cool connections/friends. Whenever you share your idea/creativity to the world, picture yourself as moving from this tiny “village” and moving into a bigger “city”.
The internet is such an interesting space. The idea that you can just connect with anyone from any place and have a conversation is just so surreal. The internet is also a great place to learn new skills. It’s where the “serendipity vehicle” happens. This is how online communities are built and discourse on various topics occur, which eventually might have positive outcome.
Just Read It
So back to my book club journey, that was just but a brief wake-up call on the importance of showing your work and putting it out somewhere in the internet.
Right off the bat, I’m the type of person who loves reading books, I can call myself bibliophile. I like learning new things through any possible means available, that’s the one way I get to expound my knowledge and challenge my mindset on different issues. I must admit that ever since I mastered the art of reading books, I’ve managed to learn lots of skills, habits, mindset, lessons, and so on.
I personally prefer reading non-fiction books as compared to fictional books. I know this statement might ruffle some feathers, but wait! you say. It’s okay, hear me out — the only two reasons I’m saying so is that first, fictional books appear too imaginative a little bit delusional, it’s like you are navigating in a fantasy world. Secondly, non-fictional books tend to address factual issues and stick to reality, which I find quite interesting and captivating. But, wait I’m not saying fictional books are bad, as such. Personally, I’ve read some fictional books, but the number of books in that category cannot match the amount of non-fictional books I’ve read in a much broader level.
At this point in time, I can confidently say that books are the absolute necessity to advance human imagination. The amount of knowledge I’ve gathered from the many books I have read so far is multifaceted and multidimensional, they have greatly recalibrated my POV and perspectives on certain issues in life. Which I’m really glad. Bill Gates, one of the worlds billionaires and founder of Microsoft, reads 50 books in a year. In a certain interview he openly mentioned if there’s a letter he can send to his younger self is simple — “Read a lot”. He once said, and I quote, “I was lucky to have parents who encouraged me to read. Reading fuels, a sense of curiosity about the world, which I think helped drive me forward in my career and in the work that I do now with my foundation”. Bill Gates himself has written three books, which I’ve had a privilege of reading them all.
Books make you to be open-minded, you allow yourself to soak up knowledge and to learn something as if you are a toddler. See, if you think highly of yourself, it is way difficult to learn something new, but if you think low of yourself and you understand that you are prone to making mistakes then you will be much more willing to learn new things that will be of much benefit in your life. This is what I came to understand in my book club odyssey. That you need to be willing to learn even for a simple task like finishing a single chapter in a book.
The most interesting thing about reading books is that, it doesn’t necessarily mean you need to practice each and every thing you learn, but the simple idea that you have a knowledge about something at the back of your mind is so surreal and more than enough. It’s much possible that as you navigate the terrains of life, one of those knowledges will come in handy.
Just to sprinkle some spice on top of the cake: This is just but a sneak peek of my book club odyssey, right up front, I can personally say my book reading progress has been really good. Having read 55 books ever since the year started. Here is the list of those books:
1. Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products by Nir Eyal & Ryan Hoover
2. The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity & Love by bell hooks
3. Conversation about Love by Natasha Lunn
4. Do Not Disturb by Michela Wrong
5. The Promised Land by Barrack Obama
6. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.
8. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
9. The Power of Sex Transmutation by Mitch Horowitz
10. Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang
11. The Rhythm of Life: Living Every day with Passion and Purpose by Matthew Kelly
12. What We Owe the Future by William McAskill
13. Make It Stick: The Science of Successful Learning by Peter C. Brown & Henry L. Roediger.
14. Mindset: Changing the Way You Think to Fulfill Your Potential by Carol S. Dweck.
15. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
16. Stand Out of Our Light: Freedom and Resistance in the Attention Economy by James Williams
17. How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy by Jenny Odell
18. Tiny Habits: The Small Changes that Change Everything by BJ Fogg, Ph.D.
20. Man Search for Meaning by Viktor Emil Frank
21. Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport.
22. The Power of the Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy.
23. Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen.
24. Outlive: The Science & Art of Longevity by Dr. Peter Attia
25. Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-commitment by Gay Hedricks & Kathlyn Hendricks
26. Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski
27. The Seven Necessary Sins for Women by Eltahawy Mona
28. The Man’s Guide to Women by John Gottman & Julie Schwartz
29. Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
30. How to Prevent the Next Pandemic by Bill Gates
31. Cobalt Red: How Blood of the Congo Powers Our Lives by Siddharth Kara
32. Democracy and Development in Africa by Claude Ake
33. The Rational Male: Positive Masculinity by Rollo Tomassi
34. The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of Them Now by Meg Jay
35. This Will Make You Smarter: 150 New Scientific Concepts to Improve Your Thinking by John Brockman
36. The Unplugged Alpha: The No Bullshit Guide to Winning With Women and Life by Richard Cooper
37. The Rationale Male: Preventive Medicine by Rollo Tomassi
39. Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker
40. The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel
41. Why Men Are the Way They Are by Warren Farrell
42. The Diary of a CEO: The 33 Laws of Business and Life by Steven Bartlett
43. How to Not Die Alone for Couples by Logan Ury
44. The Four-Hour Week by Tim Ferriss
45. The Shock Syndrome: The Rise of Disaster Capitalism by Naomi Klein
46. Project 333 by Courtney Carver
47. Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman
49. The Comfort Crisis: Embrace Discomfort to Reclaim Your Wild, Happy Self by Matthew Easter
50. Make Your Bed by Admiral William H. McRaven
51. The Art of Explanations by Ros Atkins
52. Focus on What Matters: A Collection of Stoic Letters on Living Well by Darius Foroux
53. The Art of Being Alone: Solitude is My Home, Loneliness Was My Cage by Renuka Gavrani
54. The Way of Walking Alone (Musashis Dokkodo) by Musashi Miyamoto
55. The Obstacle is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph by Ryan Holiday
I’m curious, in this long list, how many books have you read so far? how many books would you wish to read?
Leave me a comment below, I’m curious!
My #10 Favorite Books in 2023
Of all these 55 books, I have 10 books that I can say were my best. They include:
1. The Diary of a CEO: The 33 Laws of Business and Life by Steven Bartlett
Steven Bartlett, is the host of one of my favorite podcasts of all time. Especially as someone who has a podcast, but wait! you say, you must be wearing many hats? Yeah, I have a podcast, find it here.
This book was released at a very opportune time for me, I deeply enjoyed the book and I can emphasize how much I enjoyed and took from the book. What I like about Bartlett’s style of writing, something which he does even in his podcast episodes, is how he sandwiches research studies or concepts that resonate with the point he’s trying to explain. I find that fascinating.
He argues that becoming successful and building things in this life requires a mastery within four pillars namely: The self, The story, The philosophy and The team. It is through these pillars that he derived the 33 laws, which he talks about in his book.
This is one of the best books I came across in 2023 and I always find myself coming back to some chapters just to get some clarity.
2. The Art of Explanations by Ros Atkins
I usually say, “mastering the art of story telling is a superpower”. This book is authored by BBC’s journalist Ros Atkins. Tries to explain what it takes to master the art of explanations, something that he admits took him a lot of time t understand. Some of the takeaways I borrowed from the book, whenever you are about to explain something or anything:
1. Simplicity — Ask yourself: Is this the simplest way I can say this?
2. Essential detail — Ask yourself: What detail is essential to this explanation?
3. Complexity — Ask yourself: Are there elements of this subject I don’t understand?
4. Efficiency — Ask yourself: Is this the most succinct way I can say this?
5. Precision — Ask yourself: Am I saying exactly what I want to communicate?
6. Context — Ask yourself: Why does this matter to the people I’m addressing?
7. No distractions — Ask yourself: Are there verbal, written or visual distractions?
8. Engaging — Ask yourself: Are there moments when attention could waver?
9. Useful — Ask yourself: Have I answered the questions that people have?
10. Clarity of purpose — Ask yourself: Above all else, what am I trying to explain?
3. The Four-Hour Week by Tim Ferriss
In this book, Tim Ferriss, who hosts one of my favorite podcasts, challenges the traditional concept of work and life by introducing readers to the idea of the “New Rich.” He basically offers practical tips and strategies to escape the 9-to-5 grind, achieve financial freedom, and live life on your terms by outsourcing tasks and building a more efficient and fulfilling lifestyle.
4. How to Prevent the Next Pandemic by Bill Gates
In this book, Bill Gates provides a comprehensive view of pandemics, drawing on his experience and expertise as a global health advocate. He discusses the lessons learned from past pandemics and offers insights into how to prepare for and prevent future global health crises. A very straightforward book.
5. The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity & Love by bell hooks
This book came as an enlightenment to me. I’ve personally read lots of writings by bell hooks, but this book was compelling. Especially being a man in a world where the expectations are way higher than before, coupled with societal norms.
This book delves into the complex issue of masculinity and the ways in which societal norms and expectations impact men’s lives. Through insightful essays and discussions, hooks explores the negative impact of patriarchy on men, urging them to embrace a more open and emotionally connected version of masculinity. She discusses how traditional ideals of masculinity can lead to loneliness, emotional disconnection, and even violence. hooks offers a compelling argument for men to challenge these norms and cultivate healthier, more authentic relationships with themselves and others, promoting love, understanding, and personal growth. If you are a man, “The Will to Change” will encourage you to rethink your perceptions of masculinity and advocate for a more inclusive and compassionate future.
6. Stand Out of Our Light: Freedom and Resistance in the Attention Economy by James Williams
This is a book that really resonates with me. Simply because it talks about a topic that I got a lot of interest in and having written extensively about it in my personal blog, you can find it here.
The book delves into the impact of the attention economy on our lives and the erosion of our autonomy. The book scrutinizes how technology, particularly social media and digital devices, has been engineered to capture our attention, manipulate our behavior, and impair our ability to concentrate on what truly matters. The author argues that our attention is not only under constant siege but is being redirected by a host of platforms designed to keep us perpetually engaged. He contends that this rechanneling of our attention has lots of detrimental consequences for our well-being, society, and democracy. He offers solutions on ways to resist this digital onslaught and regain control over our lives, offering valuable insights into the importance of reclaiming our attention and the impact of the attention economy on modern life.
7. Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products by Nir Eyal & Ryan Hoover
This book explores the psychology behind habit formation and how businesses can create products that engage and retain users. It delves into the principles of behavioral design, providing insights into how companies like Facebook and Apple use these strategies to build products that keep users coming back for more.
8. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
Napoleon Hill’s classic work focuses on personal development, financial success, and the power of positive thinking. It provides a roadmap for achieving prosperity and wealth by aligning one’s thoughts and actions with clear goals and objectives.
9. Outlive: The Science & Art of Longevity by Dr. Peter Attia
“Everything is contingent on my health. My health is my first foundation.” These are words I usually tell myself every single time. Just like Steven Bartlett writes it so eloquently in his recent book, “…therefore my health, logically, must be my first priority, every day, forever”
By embracing this reality — by having health as my first priority — my life is extended so I can enjoy all of my other priorities. Basically, there is no greater form of gratitude than taking care of yourself.
This one simple realization changed the trajectory of my life, and I’ve been trying to even make dietary changes — cutting down sugar, processed food and refined grains. I also began exercising weekly, doing morning runs. The goal being to build the best shape of life, while staying heathy.
This book, therefore, is basically about health. It simply explores the science and strategies behind achieving a longer, healthier life. Dr. Attia combines his medical expertise with personal insights to offer readers an in-depth look at the latest research on aging, longevity, and health. The book delves into topics such as nutrition, exercise, sleep, and stress management, presenting evidence-based approaches to extend one’s lifespan and maintain a high quality of life as they age. I highly recommend this book for anyone who has interest in nutrition and building a healthy body.
It’s a self-help book that explores the concept of charisma and provides practical advice on how to develop it. Here is what I took from the book on how you can be more charismatic in your engagement with people:
1. Have a neutral face. (not smiling, not angry) and when you see that person, wait a split second to look them in the eye and then give the warmest smile you have, as if someone just offered you ice cream. This little pause would make them feel that the smile was for them because in that split second, you noticed them, and that made you smile. The same thing works in phone calls — even if you see who is calling, answer with a neutral semi-dry ‘hello’ and then when you hear ‘Hi, it’s Suzie,’ have genuine joy and smile, ‘Oh! Suzie! Hi! So good to hear you!’ Again, they would feel that warmth as directed to them and more genuine.
I’ve come to understand that I show immediate admiration and affection to people who tend to put a calm facial expression at all times. It looks really nice and relieves me from worries. It is like they cause a spark to my inner self. That’s me and I always resonate with this every time I come across such people.
2. Micro-touching. It should be really, really small because you don’t want to invade someone’s boundaries. But doing a super gentle tap on the shoulder to emphasize a point “Yeah, that story was great but (gentle touch, more like a tap, lasts maybe half a second) did you know the author blah blah…” When you do this intentionally, it comes off as genuine and bonding than creepy. Learn to read people’s body language and don’t do it too often.
3. Specific compliments. What’s better — “You look so beautiful!” or “I love that Rick and Morty T-shirt, you got some style!”? One is generic and meh, the other is more specific and makes the other person feel like you are paying attention to the small details. I love to compliment people on things I notice about them and especially their actions, the things they have control over, that resonated with me. It’s more original and makes the other person feel seen.
4. Treat people as treasure islands. They are people with life stories filled with gems. Maybe someone has a hilarious story that I wouldn’t know if I didn’t start asking about who they are. This is the hardest for me because, but try to be interested anyway. I usually start really small like “What brought you to work here? Oh really! What is your favorite thing so far?” By including my inquisitiveness in conversations with people I’ve been able to learn more about them as well as make the engagement even more catchy and interesting.
What’s the Best Time to Read a Book?
I can confidently say there’s no specific time, as such, to read a book. But because I like giving context whenever I’m explaining something. Let me use myself as an example.
I usually read a book whenever I’m at my place, I tend to call it solitude. I read a book when I feel low, I read a book to find clarity in something, I read a book to expound my knowledge about something. Basically, I try as much to read a book every single day. Having this as my goal has been working so perfectly. The reason I’ve said I prefer reading a book while in solitude is because, comprehending a book requires a lot of attention, free from distraction. It requires your brain and subconscious mind, without it you’ll mostly not understand even the main agenda for that book.
In my lifetime, I’ve mastered the art of being alone, enjoying my own company, and trying as much to learn about myself. Many times people will say solitude is loneliness but it's actually the opposite — I turned my solitude as my growth period.
In his book, The Seven Levels of Intimacy, which is one of my best books of all times on building a healthy relationship, a book I’d highly recommend to partners who are in a relationship — Matthew Kelly eloquently puts it:
“It is in solitude and silence that we learn most about ourselves. In those precious moments, undisturbed by the comings and goings of the world, we are able to develop a sense of our legitimate needs, our deepest desires, and our talents and abilities. We have much to learn from silence and solitude. We have a tremendous need to step into the great classrooms of silence and solitude each day for a few moments to get reconnected with ourselves”.
Now read that again, one more time! Yes, do it!
In her book, The Art of Being Alone, Renuka Garvani writes, “Some people are alone because they don’t have friends or family. Some people practice being alone because they want to stay connected to themselves.” I deeply resonate with these words.
Wayne W. Dyer once said “You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.” and that I believe should be enough to close what I was just explaining.
But still the question of, “What is the specific time to read a book?”, lies at an individual level, it’s a personal decision. Solitude might be working for me but not for you, and it's okay. I know people who prefer reading a book right before they go to bed, or when they are taking a cup of coffee.
So, find that specific time that really works best with you and apply it consistently.
Closing Thoughts
In this journey of reading books, especially in 2023, I learned some take-aways which I want to share. Books will at times recalibrate your perspective about anything. It is not bad to re-read a book.
But here’s the truth, not every chapter is supposed to be read. It’s a lot of fluff with only a few key learnings in each book. Usually, it’s up to you to discover them.
But the biggest takeaway I learnt in my book club odyssey — even as I wrap up this year — is that, “Don’t worry about reading more books, focus on reading better”, Don’t turn the number into the goal, but rather what you want to be.
Tony Robbins said it perfectly, “Knowing is not enough, you must take action”. So, it all boils down to how much you will apply the knowledge you gather, in each book, into your life. This blog post perfectly explains how to proactively retain and apply what you read and how to get the most out of your reading.
I can’t recommend you better than advising you to start reading books — now!
I’m aiming to read more interesting books in 2024! I ain’t gonna lie but I already have a list of what books I’ll be reading next.
Thank you for reading & I hope you share this piece with a joyful heart,
Nelson
About Me
Ooh hello, my name is Nelson and I operate this amazing blog. I was born in Kenya and I’m currently based in Nairobi.
I am an avid book reader, who loves writing blogs, and sharing his ideas and creativity with the world. I’m also a tech nerd. I am happy you’ve found your way to my blog.
Where Can You Find Me?
Here are the links to my blogs and newsletter:
· Medium
· WordPress (Nelson the Epitome)
· Substack (Nelson’s Newsletter)
So that’s all, feel free to drop me any thoughts that you may have from the articles that I’ve written.