On college

I am sick of college.

There are people who enjoy college a lot. I don’t mean getting pissed every Tuesday to Thursday and smoking weed watching YouTube on your laptop. I mean people who like reading books in the library, going to lectures, sitting in seminars and writing their papers.

I have utter respect for those people. I am happy when they are happy. But truly, deeply understand them I cannot.

Whenever I visit university, I see some people excited about sitting in lectures for one and a half hours, sitting in seminars even longer and taking days off to work on their papers. Others are rather confused about this behavior. I am one of the latter ones.

Whenever I work on my app or write a post like this, I feel way different. This is where what I do actually has a purpose. Someone in the outside world could read this and connect over the same experience. My app can make life easier for some, and even if only a small number share the same ideas as me, I feel like I achieved something.

Working in university just has the goal to make your professor happy. You optimize your output only for this one person, even if your own opinion is different. For me it is a crude game, trying to figure out how to arrange your creative output in ways that fit the prevalent policies and regulations.

The fun fact is, I know that this is actually not really bad. Every environment has rules that you need to adapt, even something free-willed like Medium: for example, swearing in your posts lies very much in the range of accepted things to do, but will probably make your intentions seems insincere to a considerate amount of readers. I understand this, and that’s why I don’t swear on here, even if I sometimes feel like. No biggie.

In contrast, it’s probably just that university has too many of those rules that you have to comply with, and that I don’t understand many of them. A lot of those rules just exist because they always have and it’s just too damn comfortable to leave everything as it is. Why, for example, do most speakers just read out whatever their assistants wrote on the slides earlier? There is this omnipresent fear of rubbing someone the wrong way that prevents everyone to freely express themselves.

I guess I tasted the sweetness of doing exactly what you want to do when I started working on my app, and this ruined a lot of crazy university paper work for me. I am probably still going to finish my Bachelor’s degree, but I am so looking forward to doing something that honestly makes sense to me.

Cheers.

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