Only in America?
An escalator into a gym. Guns. Bacon-flavoured butter wrapped in peanut butter-flavoured pancake covered in maple syrup-flavoured cookie dough and deep fried (not exaggerated much). Guns. Liberty! Guns. Freedom! Health care — or lack thereof. All responded to with the obligatory *eyeroll* followed by “Only in America!” or the more recent, ‘Murica!
Well, what really is “Only in America”? Certainly not everything that earns that title — believe it or not, people in other countries often have more rights than Americans (FATCA, anyone?). And some things that would never have occurred to me before setting foot in the country.
I feel like I’m in a good position to have an opinion on this. Why? I lived in US (OK, San Francisco and Berkeley, which an American friend referred to as “Not really the US”) for 3 years and travelled around during that time, so I am familiar with the country. I spent the other 30+ years of my life so far in multiple non-US countries, so I am familiar with the world outside the borders. Disclaimer: I haven’t been everywhere in US. Some things I mention may be California-specific. I haven’t been everywhere outside US. Some things I mention may be just like (your) home.
Guns, even in Berkeley, CA
This is first on the list, because it is the one thing I was most concerned about before leaving for the Land of the Free, and it was the one thing most constantly in the back of my mind. I single out “even in Berkeley” because I imagine most places are more gun-friendly than the liberal bubble that is Berkeley, California. Yet even there, I had a handful of indirect brushes with firearms. A friend running from a gunshot in a carpark — which didn’t even make the local news; hearing sirens responding to a fatal shooting on our street (albeit a dozen or so blocks away); a sniper on the roof of the hospital where my son was born; leaving a park right before it was locked down due to a man with a rifle; a friend’s kid being at a playground the morning before a shooting at the basketball court next door; lockdown drills being discussed at preschool tours.
Outside US? In my home country, police are largely unarmed. Shootings tend to be hunters not looking closely enough at their quarry. In my second country a shooting in a carpark made the national news, for weeks.
Escalators, everywhere
We drove down the Las Vegas Strip, in daylight, with young kids in the car. I was fascinated by almost everything I saw — the size, the gaudiness, the tackiness. But what stuck with me the most was the escalators. Everywhere. Into buildings (is there a fitness centre on The Strip? It probably does have an escalator). Up to foot bridges across the road. Every single place there were stairs, there was an escalator.
Outside US? Escalators tend to be *inside* buildings, or into/out of underground train stations.
Sugar in bread
Why, just why?!?! Besides fancy, $5+ per loaf artisinal bread, I found one single brand that doesn’t have added sweetener. The “healthy” breads use molasses or honey pear juice. Many breads proclaim “No High Fructose Corn Syrup!”. Like that’s an achievement?
Outside US? Uh, bread isn’t meant to be sweet. Seriously.
Online shopping, an app for everything, drive-thru, delivery and curbside delivery
Don’t get me wrong, “Only in America” isn’t always bad. It’s amazing to think of some project to do with the kids, search for 3 minutes to find some random but vital item that you wouldn’t know where to begin looking for on the street, and have it turn up the next day. 1-hour deliver from the supermarket is a life-saver with small kids around, especially with no car and no organisational skills. And when the kids fall asleep in the car but you have stuff to do? No worries, there’s a drive-thru everything and if not, you can purchase online and they’ll bring your order to your car. Pay-at-pump is something I never really appreciated before.
Outside US? Sorry, you’ve gotta get into the car, drive, get out of the car, unbuckle the kids, wrangle them inside, manage the meltdown while trying to fulfill the mission, get them back to the car, back in the car… I might just leave it for now. Or maybe order online and wait a few days.
Driving for hours
I love road trips. I love driving, seeing new places. During our time in the US we didn’t travel as much as I’d hoped but we did get out enough to experience the freeways and highways. Staring down an empty highway and knowing it’ll be hours before the scenery changes is a pretty cool feeling. Staring at a clogged-up freeway and knowing that you’ll move about 30 feet in the next hour, not so much. (Pro-tip: don’t try to drive LA-SF on the Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend. If you do make this drive, ensure that any 3-year-olds in the car don’t discover difficult existential concepts, like death, during the drive)
Outside US? With the exception of massive delays due to sudden weather changes, landslides or major accidents, driving for many hours will pretty much get you as far as you can go, or across the border at least. Except in Australia.
Tipping and surveys
Every. Single. Interaction. With any company appears to require some sort of judgement, some kind of evaluation. That curbside delivery I mentioned? By the time you get home, there’ll be an email asking you to “Please Rate Your Recent Experience”. And a friendly reminder the next day if you don’t. And a second, not so friendly, reminder in a week.
I see tipping as related. It’s kind of an evaluation of the service you received. Or, you know, topping up an abysmal base wage — hopefully to something your server can actually live on. With all the thoughts in my head around tipping, not to mention the actual calculation, it’s easily the most stressful part of eating out. Even more than the constant “Would you like more water? How’s your meal?”. Even more than dining alone with 2 small boys…
Outside US? Companies don’t seem to expect constant validation. Hospitality workers are paid the same way as everyone else; tips are a bonus for above-and-beyond service, not 15–20% expected as the bare minimum.
Banks
Oh boy, this could be a whole other post! But I will summarize. Credit scores. Can’t do anything without a credit score, can’t get a credit score without doing anything. Checks/cheques?! Why can’t I transfer money directly to a friend?! Why is my bank account number a closely-guarded secret? Except every time I hand over a cheque, of course.
Outside US? Well, I’d written perhaps 4 cheques in my entire life before opening a US bank account. And all 4 of those were literally last century. I had a debit card when I was 8 years old.
Dialect of English
“Go ahead and …”, “off of”, “on accident”. These are phrases that had never passed my ears before landing, and I seemed to have heard at least one every day since then. Several phone conversations could’ve taken half the time without the other person constantly “going ahead”.
Outside US? People don’t talk about “going ahead” and doing something, they just go ahead and do it.
We lived in the US for over 3 years, and I think I can say we survived the experience. A lot has changed for me — I went in thinking I would never want to return after our time was up, but I’m already looking forward to coming back to visit. I hope friends I’ve made, both American and expat, will turn out to be forever friends. I’ve seen the true meaning of “community” and “neighbourhood”, and I’ve also been reminded that for some people high school never really finished. We leave the country with a child more than we arrived with. We saw more and less of the country than I expected, if that’s possible. There are wonders I still want to see.
This list is not intended to be a criticism of a culture or country that is way too vast and diverse to be nailed down into a blog post. It’s merely a braindump of random things that that really do seem different than anywhere else I’ve been. Some things I will miss, some things definitely not.
One thing I can say is, we will be back.
Perhaps we’ll wait 4 years or so though.
